Red Flags in Downtown Bars | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

Red Flags in Downtown Bars

Meeting out-of-towners in local bars can sometimes lead to intrigue.

Meeting out-of-towners in local bars can sometimes lead to intrigue. Photo by Trip Burns.

"I would rather him be delusional than married." Such was the conclusion of my friend while discussing a fellow with whom she'd been talking as we analyzed the situation over dinner and drinks at Wasabi Sushi and Bar (100 E. Capitol St., Suite 105, wasabims.com, 601-948-8808). Then we laughed that these, it seems, are the choices sometimes left to single ladies: crazy or married.

When one lives downtown, as both she and I do, one often encounters visitors to our fair city while out and about at our neighborhood haunts. While eating at the bar at a downtown restaurant or enjoying a beverage at the King Edward Hotel Bar (102 N. Mill St.) on a weeknight, it's not at all unusual to strike up a conversation with someone who is quite obviously here from out of town. Most of the time, this provides an opportunity for interesting or amusing conversation, and a chance to share with a visitor the things we love about our city. It can be a lot of fun to be an unofficial city ambassador.

In my seven years as a downtowner, I've spent countless hours talking with people in just that situation, and when I head home for the evening (alone—for the record—it's always perfectly innocent), I love knowing that I saved someone from having to eat dinner alone at a bar in a strange place and hopefully gave them a good impression of Jackson. However, sometimes it's evident that a gentleman wants to get to know you better.

My friend met the aforementioned potentially delusional man while he was supposedly in town for work. But Red Flag Number One: He wouldn't give her a business card. "What is he, a spy or something?" I wondered. As it turns out, he told her that he works for a department of the U.S. government doing something that prevents him from being able to disclose his exact whereabouts or what exactly he does. Let's call this Red Flag Number Two. So, as he couldn't provide an email address, their communication relegated itself to text messages. He told her he would be returning soon and has remained in touch so they could catch up.

Maybe it's just that after the years of singledom and dating adventures under our belts, and we're getting cynical, but this started to sound a bit suspect to both of us. Or maybe we just have overactive imaginations. Either way, there were questions: Could he be married and hiding a wife and family? Or perhaps he's just a player with a lady in every city he visits? Why can't he tell you where he's going or what he does?

And yet, amid our skepticism, a ray of hope: She confessed that he walked her home but did not attempt so much as to put a move on her. Perhaps he did just want company and to have a friend in town next time. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. But with all the secrecy ... could that really be the truth? Maybe the truth is that he actually has a boring career and wanted to seem more exciting, a mysterious out-of-towner. And so, our conclusion: delusions of being more important than you are is something we can work with; being married is not. You take a chance; you stay in touch.

Most recently, she received a text in which he stated he'd be going to an undisclosed location for an undisclosed amount of time, during which she would be unable to reach him. So, either the delusion continues, or he really is in the CIA or something. Next time he's in town, I'm definitely inviting myself for drinks to investigate further. In this world of Adventures in Dating, you have to have your friends' backs, and this is a Mission: Possible that I choose to accept. I'll start working on my best "Men In Black"-inspired outfit for the occasion.

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