Don't Wreck Yourself: Jackson's Guide to Jackson | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

Don't Wreck Yourself: Jackson's Guide to Jackson

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"Fearless" Jackson Breland.

New to town? Welcome. Wanna learn the ropes, kid? Well, ignore the glossy brochures found at the Chamber of Commerce and follow my lead. I'm not here to sell you historical markers and tourist traps. This is a bona-fide guide to rocking and rolling while you're hanging out in the City with Soul.

Places to Meet Girls.
First and foremost, you have to get your priorities in order. Partying alone will lead to a life less fulfilled. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Southern belles are curtseying on nearly every street corner, but check out these prime places first.

Goldring/Woldenberg Institute of Southern Jewish Life
4915 I-55 N., Suite 100A, 601-362-6357

Hear me out. Jewish girls from all over the United States move to Jackson to work for the ISJL in its mission to provide educational services to small, rural Jewish communities. These maidels are gorgeous intellectuals who can also carry a tune. (See: The Bachelorettes) Even if you are a "goy toy," I'm confident these ladies can persuade you to convert. Mazel tov.

The Electric Cowboy
6107 Ridgewood Road

On the other end of the spectrum we have the Electric Cowboy. Recently a "Girls Gone Wild" tour bus parked out in front of the new nightclub Touch. Little did the promoters know, this type of behavior happens nightly at the Electric Cowboy. This isn't a country-western affair, boys and girls. It's a chance to dance the night away with willing and able bodies that know how to exhibit southern hospitality.

Places to Meet Boys.
Granted, I'm not an expert, but I do know where some fellas like to congregate. Southern gentlemen are aplenty in the city, and if you can't find one, then for you, I do pity.

Millsaps College baseball games
1701 N. State St., 601-974-1000

On and off the field, you'll find strapping lads proliferating from their successes in the classroom. They're either catching pop flies in the outfield, or in the bleachers, cheering on the men in purple. This past season, the Majors went 34-10. Everyone loves a winner.

The Mansion
330 Greymont St., 601-918-5649

I'm not referring to Guv'na BAH-bour's house, either. The Mansion is Jackson's hottest venue where men with a passion for fashion dress to impress. The extravagant Greek architecture fused with the booming urban jams and blinding fluorescent lasers transforms any ordinary evening into a night to remember.

People to Meet.
Making friends is a must. Sure, getting acquainted with your landlord might afford you a few extra days to pay the light bill, but it won't change your social status. The following folks are key connections, worthy of your handshake.

Austin Richardson

This is one crucial dude. As founder of One-to-One Studios (121 Millsaps Ave.) Richardson renovated a former Scooby-Doo ghost house into a 9,000-foot communal space for artists to thrive. Get him to save your number in his phone, and maybe he'll invite you to the next concert or open house.

Toni Jones

Yeah, she won sexiest bartender in the 2009 Best of Jackson, but there is more to her than just looks. 
Her presence behind the bar at Fenian's (901 E. Fortification St.) means that no matter how crowded it gets, she'll pour your drink in less than 60 seconds, making her, like, the Nicholas Cage of bartending or something. (Forgive me.) And if the bar gets chaotic, she'll be the first one to take names and ask questions later.

Every police officer in Jackson

This may sound elementary, but it is the best advice I can give. Finding yourself lying on a two-inch thick mat inside a Hinds County jail cell at 3 a.m. is no way to go. Be friendly to your neighborhood officer and abide by the rules. As the poet Ice Cube once said, "Check yourself before you wreck yourself."

Previous Comments

ID
150823
Comment

"Every police officer in Jackson This may sound elementary, but it is the best advice I can give. Finding yourself lying on a two-inch thick mat inside a Hinds County jail cell at 3 a.m. is no way to go. Be friendly to your neighborhood officer and abide by the rules. As the poet Ice Cube once said, "Check yourself before you wreck yourself." What is this "mat" you speak of? I saw no sort.

Author
JonOKeefe
Date
2009-08-12T18:53:00-06:00
ID
150834
Comment

The ISJL is waiting to take applicants from handsome "intellectuals" in Jackson.

Author
janinejulia
Date
2009-08-13T08:38:59-06:00

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