Miss Doodle Mae: "Seasons greetings, loyal customers of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store.
"You already know Jojo does not participate in the 'Black Friday Sales' hoopla, hype and razzmatazz. At Jojo's Discount Dollar Store, every day is 'Black Friday' because everything is a dollar. Nevertheless, Jojo loves to treat his customers to a very affordable and stress-free holiday season.
"Jojo's Discount Dollar Store will host a series of weekly 'New Era Transition Holiday Sales Events.' Look out for weekly events in isle 7-and-2/5, starting with the 'Post Election Meltdown Mental Health Therapy Summit,' which psychologist Judy McBride is hosting. All President-elect Trump supporters are invited to attend.
"Chief Crazy Brother's Ghetto Science Repertory Theater Troupe will present two special non-traditional, holiday-season theatrical events. The first event will feature a one-act play by the titled 'Pipeline of Tears: Tribute to the Dakota Pipeline Protesters.'
"The second event will feature abbreviated scenes from the popular and controversial play 'Hamilton.' All President-elect Trump Supporters are invited to attend.
"Look out for Congressman Smokey 'Robinson' McBride's anticipated roundtable discussion titled 'Surviving a Severe Political Butt Whooping' or 'Cautiously Extend the Olive Branch.'
"Also, come and enjoy the Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa activities for children and adults.
"During the 'New Era Transition Events,' the staff of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store wishes everyone a happy holiday season and speedy recovery from the Presidential election. Remember: All President-elect Trump Supporters are invited to attend."