Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo, our fearless, creative and innovative leader, wants to celebrate Halloween differently this year. His plan is to celebrate soul with the Jojo's Discount Dollar Store Soul-O-Ween Party and Sale. He encourages his loyal customers to recognize the essence of artists, musicians and people with soul.
"During the Soul-O-Ween Party and Sale, staff members from the discount dollar store cash-register team will dress up as one of your favorite soul singers such as Aretha Franklin, Billy Paul, Curtis Mayfield or Patti LaBelle.
"Chief Crazy Brother, our store display manager, will have a Soul-O-Ween tribute to the artist formerly known as Prince. Look for the Purple Rain Costume Party in aisle seven and 1/3.
"Brother Hustle told me he wants to dress up like James Mtume from 1980s funk-and-soul music group named Mtume. Look for him in the cold-drink section of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store playing Mtume's hit song 'Juicy Fruit' and selling refreshing little plastic jugs of Juicy Fruit Juice on ice.
"Bubba and Bradley Robinski, our token Caucasian vendors, will dress up as blue-eyed soul group Hall and Oates and give out samples of their tasty microwavable soy-protein sausage breakfast biscuits in the frozen-foods section.
"After your purchase of costume and other needs at the Soul-O-Ween Party and Sale, Jojo's Discount Dollar Store invites you to attend the 'Soul-O-Ween After Party and Late Night Hot Wing Happy Hour' at Clubb Chicken Wing.
"Happy 'Soul-O-Ween,' everybody."