Holiday Rebellion | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

Holiday Rebellion


Ken Stiggers

Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peacekeeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride; attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I; and guest rookie peace officer and renegade filmmaker Kunta 'Rahsheed X' Toby. This is their story."

Dudley: "I see we have the filmmaker joining us on another peacekeeping mission."

Cootie: "The folk from Operation Corporate Watch asked us to monitor and document activities at Y'all Mart and Crunchie Burga World's annual 10-minute staff appreciation and corporate pre-holiday party."

Kunta: "Something is about to happen at this party. A lot of Crunchie Burga World and Y'all Mart employees will have their feelings hurt this holiday season. My secret refurbished Go Pro Camera will capture the moment."

Cootie: "The moment will happen when the corporate CEOs inform the workers about their bonus."

Dudley: "So, we are here to maintain order when the workers get angry and videotape the aftermath."

Cootie: "Start recording, Kunta. The CEO is addressing 
the workers."

CEO: "Because of Obamacare, Ebola outbreaks, terrorism and minimum-wage protests, Y'all Mart and Crunchie Burga World employees will not receive their annual holiday bonus this year.  On behalf of the corporate board of directors and management, we truly appreciate your hard work this year. Happy Holidays."

(Violence erupts)

Dudley: "The angry workers' holiday rebellion is now caught 
on camera."

Doink, doink

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