I like girlie drinks. There, I said it. I'm not ashamed of it, either. Sweet? Yep. Fruity? The more, the better. And if you buy me a chocolatini, then I'll be your best friend.
You know why I like girlie drinks? Girlie drinks taste good, and the last time I checked, that's what makes something pleasurable to consume.
"But," you may ask, "what if I like drinking vodka from the bottle and enjoy 90-proof whiskey?" Well, by all means, drink up (responsibly, of course). Just because I'm pro-girlie drinks doesn't mean I'm anti-hard liquor. I enjoy a Jack and coke occasionally. I'll even drink scotch if the notion strikes me. But I drink it because it tastes good, not because I'm trying to prove something.
Walk into any bar around town, and you'll see people torturing their taste buds with gag-inducing libations that seem better suited to cleaning engine parts than oiling conversation. More often than not, it seems to be a case of proving you can "drink like a man." Sadly, those of the fairer sex are not exempt from this type of behavior.
No, thanks. Not me. Give me the sweet stuff.
As you can probably guess, my predilection for sweet drinks has earned me a fair bit of ribbing from my friends. It doesn't really bother me so much as it baffles me. After all, people don't usually pick what they eat based on how manly their choice will be perceived. The absurdity of the "girlie drinks are for pansies" argument is easily apparent when you substitute some other consumable for your girlie drink of choice. Observe the following exchange:
"Wow, I could really go for some lasagna right now. "
"Lasagna? How 'bout a skirt to go with that lasagna?
"What's wrong with lasagna?"
"Nothing at all. I used to have lasagna. When I was 14."
Seem silly? Of course it does. We eat things because they taste good, so why shouldn't we drink for the same reason?
So guys, wherever you are on New Year's Eve, whether it is your favorite watering hole or a friend's place, when it comes time to choose your beverage, man up, and order that coconut full of fruity deliciousness. Your taste buds will thank you, and who knows? Maybe some hottie at the bar will ask for a sip. And if so, you're welcome. As for me, I hope to be enjoying a nice pint of Guiness. So what if it will be baked into cupcakes by my roommate Neola Young? What? Why are you snickering? What's so funny?
I remember the first time I tasted the sweet siren call of Scotch whiskey. I was sitting in the Golden Moon bar in Choctaw, Miss. I had eyed those bottles of amber liquid many times before and never had the courage to ask for a taste. I had only ever seen men sitting at the bar sipping from those really small glasses. I was 22 at the time, and I could not recall ever seeing women drinking without shapely martini glasses full of bubblegum pink booze in hand.
If I went on example alone, I was supposed to drink the umbrella drinks, the so-called "girlie" drinks. Very quickly, my taste buds rebelled to all the sugary and tart sweetness of those candy-colored mixed-up liquors. Then I found what I'd be looking for all along: whiskey.
I should note that I occasionally will add a splash of ginger ale to my whiskey, but I also love to drink it neat (novices, that means just plain bourbon in a glass shaped for your hand) and feel just the sweet hot burn in my chest.
During the winter months, I'll add a splash of lemon, a dose of honey and heat it for the kind of drink that will warm you from head to toe.
Still, when it comes down to it, I drink the liquor often associated with men. I'm the kind of person who believes in equal opportunity booze. Ladies and gentlemen, throw away those umbrellas and refuse the blue Curaçao. Embrace the sweetness of whiskey. Women and whiskey go together like salt and pepper, not oil and water. (Well, I can think of a few situations, mostly immortalized in country songs, about when women and whiskey did not mix well.)
This New Year's Eve, push aside the fruit, folks, and forget the coconut. Experience the pure, delicious sweetness of whiskey. And don't forget the cab company phone numbers or line up your designated driver.
I need to try these cupcakes...