Congressman Smokey "Robinson" McBride: "Greetings, citizens of the Ghetto Science community. Just as I speak, several events are happening around the world, in this country and even in the ghetto. All I see, hear and read about are wars, natural disasters, uprisings, rebellion, hate, intolerance, bigotry and racism. Everything negative is thrown in our faces. It seems like the crap has hit the high-speed power fan, slinging the troubles of this messed up world into our existential lives.
"As your elected congressman and public servant, I am here to let you know that crap, mess, drama, trouble, gloom, despair and agony happens, and they are a part of this world's order. However, along with order comes balance. The good deeds of concerned and sympathetic people follow bad events.
"We are gathered here at the Clubb Chicken Wing Multi-Purpose Center to do a good deed by raising money through the ‘United Ghetto Science Team Tsunami Fund Drive,' which I hope will help millions of tsunami victims in Japan.
"Today's tsunami fund drive features your favorite Ghetto Science Community vendors: Pork-N-Piggly Supermarkets, Crunchie Burger World, Chef Fat Meat's Kitchen, Momma Root Doctor Holistic Health Care Center, Bubba Robinski's Soy Protein Sausage Biscuits, Brother Hustle's Juicy Juice on Ice Bar, Jojo's Discount Dollar Store and more.
"Help the victims of the tsunami with your purchasing power. Support the vendors and contribute to the ‘United Ghetto Science Team Tsunami Fund.'
"Thank you, concerned citizens."