[Stiggers] Black Gold | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

[Stiggers] Black Gold

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Ken Stiggers

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented by two members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley ‘Do-Right' McBride and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

Dudley ‘Do-Right' McBride: "Cootie, have you seen the live coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? This oil slick reminds me of the ugly, webbed creature that attacked those scientists in the 1954 movie ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon.' This oil slick also reminds me of Steven Spielberg's 1975 movie ‘Jaws.' Remember how that great white shark menaced the small island town of Amity? And the federal government is looking into criminal charges against the responsible oil company. You know what I'm talking about, Cootie? Look at all of that wasted black gold."

Cootie McBride: "Dudley, I see an opportunity to help poor people affected by this creature-like oil slick menacing the waters and gulf shores of America. The people need encouragement, financial assistance, environmental cleanup, water, food, health care and legal help, of course."

Dudley ‘Do-Right' McBride: "So what are you talking about, Cootie?"

Cootie McBride: "I'm talking about becoming legal counsel for folks who want to sue that oil corporation! Can you say ‘Class Action Lawsuit?'"

Dudley ‘Do-Right' McBride: "It's time for a money making road trip across the Gulf Coast."

Cootie McBride: "Gas up the SUV, Dudley. It's show time!"

Doink, Doink!

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