Dear Disgruntled American Citizens:
I want to make an appeal to you through this letter. In the Ghetto Science Community, I'm one of the token Caucasians. Actually, I'm a second-generation ghetto resident. My father (a Polish immigrant) and I lived in a Pittsburgh, Pa., ghetto called "Polish Hill." When I graduated from business college, I established a small grocery store called "Robinski Got Groceries" in a predominately African American ghetto.
After 30 years of service to ghetto residents, I started up a new business called Bubba Robinski's Breakfast Foods. I turned my grocery store into a factory, employed ghetto residents and started making soy-protein breakfast products like sausage and breakfast biscuits, and turkey bacon. Immediately, the business grew through the loyal patronage and support of the Ghetto Science Community and local ghetto vendors like Edward "Monday Night Football Head" Walker, Jojo and Mr. Habib, Brotha Hustle, Chef Fat Meat and Big Roscoe. If only the rest of the country could work together like the Ghetto Science Community.
As I reflect on the ongoing effort of coexistence within the Ghetto Science Community, I recall words from Dr. Martin Luther King's "Letter from the Birmingham Jail." "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."
My simple appeal to you is to curb your hate and intolerance, embrace progress, and enjoy my new frozen soy protein sausage, egg-and-cheese biscuits.