Boneqweesha Jones: "This is your 'Qweesha '09 special report and news brief. Dr. Peanut of the George Washington Carver Holistic Health Commission of Tuskegee, Ala., has informed me that a pig in Mexico has the cooties, and people have gotten really sick.
"Will pig cooties come to the ghetto? How will the pig cooties affect financially challenged urban residents? What can ghetto residents do to prevent a pig cootie outbreak?
"Perhaps my special guests can answer these burning questions. Let's start with Nurse Tootie McBride of the Ghetto Science Team's Center for Cootie Control."
Nurse Tootie: "'Qweesha, I highly doubt that the pig cooties will reach American ghettoes. If it does, however, a pig cootie outbreak would devastate ghetto residents. Hospitals might be unprepared to care for financially challenged and working poor urban residents who cannot afford health insurance. Only God knows what poor folk will go through! If the cooties hit the fan, low-income workers living from paycheck to paycheck will be too sick to earn their minimum wages. I don't want to talk any more about the possibilities of a ghetto pandemic."
Boneqweesha Jones: "Brotha Hustle, can members of the financially challenged community prevent a pig cootie outbreak?"
Brotha Hustle: "In the upbeat and inspiring words of the president: Yes we can! Ghetto residents need to stock up on supplies of disinfectant sprays, hand sanitizers, medical masks and flu medicines—all on sale at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store. Remember: A pound of prevention is worth a ton of cure!"
From now on, I will refer to H1N1 as the pig cooties. LOL