Big Roscoe: "Live from the Clubb Chicken Wing Multi-Purpose Complex, it's the ‘Clubb Chicken Wing Christmas TV Special.' On behalf of Lil' Momma Roscoe and the Clubb Chicken Wing staff, we hope that the Ghetto Science community, financially challenged individuals and the unemployed have a happy and prosperous holiday season.
"Even though the economy seems a little frightful—with politicians on both sides being so angry and spiteful—the people know the political climate is really cold. Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow.
"Indeed, the love of many has waxed cold. But there's no need to fear. The ‘Clubb Chicken Wing Christmas TV Special' is on to provide the masses entertainment that will help keep their mind off their worries and troubles during the holiday season.
"We have a great line-up for the ‘Christmas TV Special,' featuring the musical stylings of the Vegetarian Church Tabernacle Choir as they sing ‘Joy to the World; Our Light Bill is Paid.'
"Lil' Momma Roscoe has become quite a playwright and has teamed up with the Ghetto Science Team Repertory Theatre to present a scene from her first Christmas gospel play titled ‘The Christmas Miracle Rent Party.'
"And the Sausage Sandwich Sisters will perform their new electric slide line-dance routine to the Temptations' rendition of the popular Christmas song ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.'
"So relax, sip on your favorite heavily spiked hot toddy and enjoy the diversionary entertainment courtesy of the ‘Clubb Chicken Wing Christmas TV Special.'"