home > Columns > Oil Spill

[Stiggers]  Black Gold


by Ken Stiggers
June 9, 2010

Mr. Announcement: “In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented by two members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley ‘Do-Right’ McBride and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story.”

Dudley ‘Do-Right’ McBride: “Cootie, have you seen the live coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? This oil slick reminds me of the ugly, webbed creature that attacked those scientists in the 1954 movie ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon.’ This oil slick also reminds me of Steven Spielberg’s 1975 movie ‘Jaws.’ Remember how that great white shark menaced the small island town of Amity? And the federal government is looking into criminal charges against the responsible oil company. You know what I’m talking about, Cootie? Look at all of that wasted black gold.”

Cootie McBride: “Dudley, I see an opportunity to help poor people affected by this creature-like oil slick menacing the waters and gulf shores of America. The people need encouragement, financial assistance, environmental cleanup, water, food, health care and legal help, of course.”

Dudley ‘Do-Right’ McBride: “So what are you talking about, Cootie?”

Cootie McBride: “I’m talking about becoming legal counsel for folks who want to sue that oil corporation! Can you say ‘Class Action Lawsuit?’”

Dudley ‘Do-Right’ McBride: “It’s time for a money making road trip across the Gulf Coast.”

Cootie McBride: “Gas up the SUV, Dudley. It’s show time!”

Doink, Doink!

 
posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 06/09/10 at 02:23 PM. [printer version]    Share |

COMMENTS

You are not logged in. To post a comment, you must be a registered user and logged in. Click here to register or click here to log in.

Log in to JFP using Facebook

:: recentcomments

May 25, 2012 | 02:20 PM
JRA Says Ugly Garage Ramp Must Go
justjess: Not a problem and for sure, not a priority. In an ecomomy where people are concerned about the State's infrastructure (unstable bridges, sreets in desperate need of repair ...
May 25, 2012 | 02:17 PM
BREAKING: JPS Agrees to Overhaul Discipline Policies, Settles Lawsuit
lizwaibel: Also today, the US Dept. of Education released a resource document that says restraint or seclusion does not reduce the occurrence of ...
May 25, 2012 | 09:32 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
notmuch: I'm not sure where the "@" came from, but I think golden eagle's response was directed to me, so I will respond one more time. First, the inclusion of the word "facts" and the phrase ...
May 25, 2012 | 08:01 AM
[Dish] Cobby Williams, Young Gun
Queen601: That first question is classic! LOL
May 24, 2012 | 09:34 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
golden eagle: @notmuch, here are some facts about voter fraud, straight from the Brennan Center's website: Fraud by individual voters is both irrational and extremely rare. Most citizens who ...
May 24, 2012 | 07:14 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
notmuch: Oh, I have hundreds of those right-wing sites, and I couldn't say which ones are more "partisan"--they all include those pesky facts. Yes, when dead voters and multiple voters under ...
May 24, 2012 | 07:11 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
justjess: @ golden eagle. Thanks for the spell check. I didn't just spell assassination wrong ONE time, I did it over and over. LOL! You are right on the mark; I was trying to use the word ...
May 24, 2012 | 06:46 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
golden eagle: I don't think you could've found a more partisan right-wing site than the Daily Caller. The fact of the matter is that the right is using this issue not as a means of improving ...
May 24, 2012 | 06:10 PM
[Dish] Cobby Williams, Young Gun
trusip: WOW! was this a real interview or a joke?
May 24, 2012 | 05:00 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
notmuch: I don't think you could have found a more liberal example of a "non-partisan" site, but even so, their evidence seems to consist of 250 carefully chosen instances in one area of ...
May 24, 2012 | 04:48 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
golden eagle: Rather than using ideological websites to support your argument, I'll use the non-partisan Brennan Center for Justice. Really good site.
May 24, 2012 | 04:30 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
notmuch: I might be missing something here, but I am a little confused by Golden Eagle's points: "the fact is that voter fraud is extremely rare"--so it is of no consequence that some ...
May 24, 2012 | 11:26 AM
Nick Hanauer's 'Controversial' TED Talk -- Tax the Rich?
RobbieR: TED is an elite academic conference.
May 24, 2012 | 10:18 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
DonnaLadd: No, Darryl, no one blocked you. Stop being paranoid. We just typically open comments in moderation during non-office hours. To me, a bozo isn't someone who disagrees with me. It's ...
May 24, 2012 | 06:18 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
Darryl: That's funny that you blocked my last comment...

100 recent comments »

 


click to view "flip" version of this week's print issue

 

Guests online: 152
Logged-in members: 0
Anonymous members: 0
Elapsed time: 0.6842
The most number of visitors ever was 1961 at once on 03/27/2012

 

© Jackson Free Press, Inc. - portions of code by CC with EE. User agreement and privacy statement.
phone: 601-362-6121 (ext 11 sales, ext 16 editorial, ext 17 publisher)
fax: 601-510-9019 * P.O. Box 5067 * Jackson, MS * 39296