Serving the Blues

What is the problem with food manufacturers? This morning I checked out the daily email from one of my favorite green Web sites and the subject was energy drinks. "Oh, goody," I thought. Yesterday was a 13-hour day, and I can use some energy this morning.

I clicked on one of the links for a drink called Steaz Energy. The link took me to a "landing" page that told me I needed Flash to view the site. That's bad enough. I mean, why do Internet marketing people insist on using technology that their potential customers might not have and might not want? Do they really want to exclude customers? But don't get me started on that one.

Here's what got me writing: I poked around on the site (after muting the music I didn't want to hear) to get to the nutritional information. And what did I find?

A typical up-to-government-standards nutritional label.

These things really chap my ass, and for one fundamental reason: the serving size. Steaz comes in a 12-ounce can. But what is the serving size on the label? Eight ounces. Come on people—I mean really. Who the heck is going to not drink the last third. Can we get real? A serving of this stuff is 12 ounces. Is there any doubt in anyone's mind about that?

This is the kind of crap that leads to consumer confusion. Even consumers who are trying to do better by reading labels can be deceived into thinking that they're consuming 90 calories in a "serving," when they're really consuming 120. And this isn't limited to the less-than-bright among us. Donna expounded on the virtues of a smoothie from Rainbow a few weeks back. When I asked her how many calories it contained, she looked at the label and responded with something like "200." But that was a six-ounce "serving" of a 12-ounce drink.

Who makes up this sh*t?!?

Monday night, I went to the grocery store. In a haze of wishful thinking, I stopped by the snack aisle to see if anyone had introduced the 100-calorie version of the 12-ounce bag of salt-and-vinegar potato chips since the last time I'd been there. As usual, I was sorely disappointed. What, according to the government guidelines, is a serving of potato chips? One, yes, that's ONE, ounce. Right! I looked at about five different brands, and occasionally, they printed the number of chips that constituted an ounce—usually three to nine. No self-respecting chip connoisseur would get off that light. Why, I can snarf up three times that many waiting for my fajitas at the local Miss/Mex place. I passed, again.

OK, maybe I'm just grouchy.

Here's the point: Serving sizes make a difference. If you're watching your calories, you must learn to understand those inane labels. A serving is not what you and I fantasize it should be. Sad, but true.

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