home > Cover Stories > domestic violence
Are You An Abuser?
by Ronni Mott
September 26, 2007
Domestic abuse can take many forms, and physical violence is only one of them. If you think you might be an abuser, here are some questions to ask yourself:
If there's a problem or conflict, is it always your partner's fault? Abusers almost never see themselves as the responsible party.
Do you use demeaning words when speaking to or about your partner—words like stupid, lazy, whore, slut, good-for-nothing?
Are you jealous of your partner's friends, relatives or children? Chances are, there are other people in your partner's life whom your partner loves. Abusers tend to see those relationships as threatening instead of supportive.
Do you control your partner's money, never giving him or her more than you think is enough? Economic control is common for domestic abusers, who use money to limit their partner's movements.
Do you feel that your partner owes you and that you have the right to treat her in any way you see fit? Such feelings of "ownership" are common among abusers.
When you want sex, do you get it even when your partner says, "No"?
Have you ever expressed uncontrolled rage against another person—your partner or someone else—or taken out your rage by breaking objects?
Have you ever physically hurt your partner, your children or your pets?
Do you tend to limit social interaction to your partner, avoiding friends and family?
Do you frequently feel hopeless or depressed?
Do you use drugs and alcohol on a daily basis?
Do you spy on or stalk your partner?
Do you fantasize about killing your partner or yourself?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, consider talking with someone who can help you: your pastor, your doctor or a mental health professional. If your answer was yes to two or more, you may already be an abuser. Help is available. Go to Men Stopping Violence or to A Call to Men for information and resources.
posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/26/07 at 02:23 PM. [printer version] Share |
COMMENTS
These are excellent questions posed for consideration. Because I'm in this neverending quest for knowledge and understanding, I picked up my copy of OJ's book " Why I Did It" last week so as to gain understanding of his psyche and being. Excuse me, I meant OJ's book called "If I Did It."
It seemed to me from reading the book named above that OJ and Nicole were pretty much a bad match from the outset. Nothing much in common except lust, unfortunately later children too, dependency (both ways. One financially and the other one ego), jealousy and an insatiable appetite for drugs and alcohol.
From my reading and discernment, OJ seemed to have suffered from nearly all of the above situations/conditions. What we want and need are oftern to different things. This is especially so once the judgment is defective as a result of drugs and alcohol.
posted by Ray Carter on 10/02/07 at 11:25 AM
Page 1 of 1 pages
:: recentcomments
May 23, 2012 | 01:37 PMBryant Signs Voter ID Bill
golden eagle: Wow, my English was bad on the previous post. You know how it is on these iPhones.
May 23, 2012 | 12:30 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
golden eagle: @Jess, I think the word you're looking for is "assassination". @Darryl, do we really know that the majority of MS'ians wanted this, when you consider that this was a ...
May 23, 2012 | 12:18 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
DonnaLadd: I can only hope that the reason that this bill passed is that, for once, our lawmakers listened to the majority of Mississippians and crafted this bill. Considering that the ...
May 23, 2012 | 11:57 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
justjess: @Darryl 5/23 "....for once, our lawmakers listened to the majority of Mississippians and crafted this bill." My question is still on the table: What were you "majority ...
May 23, 2012 | 05:26 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
Darryl: justjess, I can only hope that the reason that this bill passed is that, for once, our lawmakers listened to the majority of Mississippians and crafted this bill. But, recall, that ...
May 22, 2012 | 04:26 PM
One Night at Fenian's
DonnaLadd: ... because if there is anything The Clarion-Ledger can muster the resources to do, it's show up any night of the week and take drunk pictures. Meantime, they crib our sports stories. ...
May 22, 2012 | 03:53 PM
One Night at Fenian's
Rico: Next time just call Metro Mix at the C-L and have them come and take some pretty pictures for the newspaper. Hell, the got some on karaoke night Monday.
May 22, 2012 | 02:07 PM
[Editorial] To Do Its Job, Council Must Show Up
RobbieR: And Chokwe wants to run for Mayor? Hopefully the citizens of Jackson don't fall for this clown's rhetoric.
May 22, 2012 | 01:15 PM
Catholics Sue Over Birth Control Rule
Brian C Johnson: I cannot decide whether this is a vanity lawsuit, in the sense that the bishops know they stand little chance of prevailing in court. Or to put it more charitably, ...
May 22, 2012 | 01:00 PM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
Brian C Johnson: Darryl, I think it is simply a statement of fact that African Americans in Mississippi are less likely to have the required photo ID. If so, the new law is discriminatory in ...
May 22, 2012 | 11:25 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
Duan C.: I am in agreement with Golden Eagle - requiring I.D. ties a fee into voting, the only reason why its considered "discriminatory" towards black, is because it places back into an era ...
May 22, 2012 | 10:22 AM
Person of the Day: Rep. Andy Gipson
RobbieR: What? I was clearly referring to Bennie Thompson, not Rep. Gipson. Rep. Bennie Thomson represents Mississippi's 2nd Congressional district; Darryl noted that he rep'd the ...
May 22, 2012 | 09:59 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
justjess: Darryl, out of my "simple ignorance" I ask you this "little question:" Why are registered voters here in the State of Mississippi being asked to produce a picture ID? When the State ...
May 22, 2012 | 08:49 AM
Person of the Day: Rep. Andy Gipson
Duan C.: @ Robbie R - you lost me on that one? They have him listed in the 77th District - covering Rankin, Simpson, and Smith counties?
May 22, 2012 | 08:47 AM
Bryant Signs Voter ID Bill
bill_jackson: I would be interested to know what percentage of the voting age population does not have identification in this day and age.
16e-mail newsletter
Sign up for the JFP Daily Newsletter to receive breaking news, local events, music listings and more by e-mail.
jfp featured event
Art Remix
Jun 08, 2012 - Enjoy food from chef Luis Bruno, a cash bar, art and music. Lisa Mills and Latinismo perform. more
|
Guests online: 257
© Jackson Free Press, Inc. - portions of code by CC with EE. User agreement and privacy statement. |
