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[Sue Doh Nem] ‘No Pay’ Into ‘Co-Pay’
by Sue Doh Nem
April 30, 2008
Pork-N-Piggly Customer Service Representative: “Attention Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket shoppers! As you know, prices throughout our store have drastically changed. High fuel prices, housing and credit crisis and the economic recession have affected the way folk spend their dollars. Our Pork-N-Piggly marketing staff reports that consumers have resorted to hoarding food.
“Our C.E.O and former NFL third-string defensive end, Ernest ‘Monday-Night Football Head’ Walker, feels the consumer’s pain, frustration and fear. And he apologizes for the abrupt price adjustments of your favorite grocery products. Higher prices at Pork-N-Piggly have become a necessary evil. And, for now, inflated prices make the world go ‘round and consumers angry.
“Nevertheless, Ernest and our brilliant staff have developed a new payment method called the ‘Auto-Co-Go’ payment system for financially challenged grocery shoppers. The ‘Auto Pay’ system allows the consumer to pay for his/her groceries through a monthly automatic bank draft, or a deduction from a WIC voucher account.
“The ‘Co-Pay’ system requires the consumer to locate a good friend, close relative or significant other to pay a percentage of the grocery bill. The ‘Go-Pay’ system is for a consumer with insufficient funds in his/her bank account, forgot the PIN number to his/her WIC voucher account, or has already borrowed too much money from friends, relatives and lovers. Just ‘Go’ ahead and ‘Pay’ your grocery bill!
“Remember: Tax stimulus check time is around the corner. The Pork-N-Piggly staff looks forward to serving our devoted, frustrated and priced-gouged customers!”
posted by on 04/30/08 at 05:13 PM. [printer-friendly version]
COMMENTS
[Kamikaze] The Media Fix Is In
J.T.: Amen to pushing a positive Jackson. And, yes, it is a movement. And, it is moving.
Aug 27, 2008 | 06:17 PM
Ban the Paddle?
ladd: A lot of kids in all our schools are "scary smart." Many just haven't had the chance to prove it, yet. On the not-know-how-to-ask-a-str anger-a-question point -- how many strangers are completely ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 05:33 PM
Ban the Paddle?
Tom Head: The kids I've met from the Jim Hill Civil Liberties Club are SCARY smart (they're not just the future; they're ready and able to get out and do stuff now), and the idea that anyone would consider ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 05:15 PM
Ban the Paddle?
ladd: you mentioned people should try to find out what is really going on with this generation. Damn right I did. And any given day, you will find up to 20 young people in their teens and 20s in my offices, ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 05:12 PM
Ban the Paddle?
ladd: Baquan, it's simple really: You generalized about all young people with statements like these: Discipline does not work any more on kids, whether it is beating them or putting them in time out. Young ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 04:49 PM
Ban the Paddle?
baquan2000: To Tom Head - lets just agree to disagree. You put yours in time out for stealing or cussing, while with mine, they will just have to meet their maker when they attempt to try it!? Sorry - I will ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 04:41 PM
Ban the Paddle?
baquan2000: Donna you did a good article a while back on this generation, where I think you mentioned people should try to find out what is really going on with this generation. Maybe what I said, was to ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 04:28 PM
Ban the Paddle?
Tom Head: Or for selling bad weed. Or for sleeping with your girlfriend. Or... Right. We teach the same pro-violence message with the Iraq War and the death penalty, too, not to mention when leaders go around ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 04:04 PM
Ban the Paddle?
ladd: That is a vast generalization about young people, baquan, and extremely offensive. I'm more impressed with young people today in their teens, and even tweens, than I ever have been. And the numbers bear ...
Aug 27, 2008 | 03:39 PM
Ban the Paddle?
baquan2000: after reading all the posts above; whatever it is we are doing; it is not working? Discipline does not work any more on kids, whether it is beating them or putting them in time out. Young men do ...
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