Online Support Group for Boomerangers

You know, getting harassed on another blog for subscribing to this listserv kind of woke me up to the fact that white culture is pretty unique, at least in my book, in the way it handles people who live with family. See, I'd never voluntarily live alone--and if you look at folks in most countries on Earth, from Italy (where hotel rooms are rented out for the afternoon specifically so that twentysomethings/thirtysomethings who live with their parents can have somewhere more secluded to make whoopee) to much of Latin America (where multigenerational extended families often live together), you'll find that this is a pretty common sentiment. But in white culture, moving out and living alone or with trendy, photogenic roommates, whether it makes a whale of a lot of sense at the time or not, is seen as a rite of passage to adulthood. For some reason, it would be a better thing to live with strangers who aren't your family, but who are the same ages and whatnot, than it is to live with actual family members.

I wonder, Latasha. I hate to ask you a question about "black culture" because it makes me sound ignorant, but I wonder to what extent this is mainly a white thing and to what extent it's catching on in black communities. Because my general sense, from a lifetime spent hanging around with black folks, is that living with families is seen as a heck of a lot less shameful if you don't have white skin. Talking proudly about your parents is seen as a heck of a lot less shameful if you don't have white skin--and from what Donna told me about the condescending comments her professor up north had to share about southern authors, it's even worse up yonder. There's less of a sense that you have to prove yourself.

What's your read on this? I just keep thinking that strong black men, from 50 Cent to Cornel West, praise their Mamas all the time--but when Philip Seymour Hoffman did it after he won the Oscar, I got Norman Bates vibes. What is that about? What is it about white culture that makes it fashionable to hate our families, and completely unacceptably weird to appreciate them?

I don't know. But I guess one day I'll be on the other end of this with my own kids, so it's a question I want to take a good hard look at.

And may I say that I am increasingly coming to admire you for your courage in "coming out" on so many of these things. You strike me as a pretty doggone amazing person. Let's do coffee sometime.


Cheers,

TH

Coffee, huh? Sounds good. I'll email you.

Anyway, I think there's a gradual change going on in black culture. It seems to me that even though more children try to live on their own at least once, I think there is more pressure for black men to strike out on their own than it it for black women. Since I live with my mom right now, I don't get too much grief about it since I'm an "old maid". When I lived on my own, it was a sign of strength and independence, especially when I got a car. On the other hand, a black man living at home is more likely to be viewed as a "mama's boy", especially if he's 25+ years old. If he has his own place, he appears to have greater potential to be a provider.

Hello,

After realizing that I have not been able to put in the time and
effort to fully promote this group and increase membership, I have
decided to remove this group from Yahoo. You can still go to
[url=http://www.boomerangnation.com]http://www.boomerangnation.com[/url] if you still want to participate in a forum on
the subject of adult children living at home.

LW, you are in the wrong part of the site. Go to the Melton blog.

LW, you are in the wrong part of the site. Go to the Melton blog.

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