Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Courtesy Billy Bragg

"A New England" by Billy Bragg is one of the bluntest break-up songs to date.

by Rob Hamilton
February 10, 2010

Too often, the break-up song subgenre is not diverse enough. There are several types of break-up songs, generally falling under one of two tents. The first type is the "I-still-love-you-why-did-you-leave-me?" song. These songs have been the cornerstone of blues, pop and soul for as long as genres have existed. The tone is fairly easy to capture and of course many of the best songs ever written fall into this category.

The second form of break-up song is considerably harder. These songs remove the self-victimization from the break-up. Generally, these songs fall under one of two categories: 1. I just broke up with you and I feel OK; and, 2. You broke up with me, and I'm fine with it now.

The main risk with these songs is confusing stoicism with self-righteousness and frustration with whininess. Ben Folds Five epitomized this pratfall with its 1997 clunker "Song for the Dumped." After listening to this drivel, the first thing you wonder is what took his girlfriend so long to kick his a** to the curb?

Due to the fear and overbearing self-righteousness, you rarely find men singing these songs. Women are far more prone to write proactive break-up songs, largely because their inherent underdog status often encourages self-empowerment.

Can you imagine Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" sung by Ne-Yo or Akon? It wouldn't go over quite as well.

So how does a man walk that fine line between pride and misogyny? The artists who are most able to do it end up with the classic break-up songs. Let's look at three examples:

"A New England" by Billy Bragg is one of the bluntest break-up songs you will ever hear by either gender. Nothing simmers under the surface of the song, which makes it surprisingly unique. He tells his girlfriend that he loved her and loves her still, but he's now "looking for another girl." It's definitely one of the most unsentimental break-up depictions.

Then we have the much more abstract songs. "The Rabbit, the Bat, and the Reindeer" by Dr. Dog exemplifies this category. The narrator explains his frustrations in a more conceptual, though no less damning, way. He has had all he can take from his girlfriend and has finally decided to stand up to her, to "get it back like it's four in the morning" and be rid of her.

All this leads to the best break-up song in recent years, The Exploding Hearts' "Sleeping Aides & Razorblades." It is the most convincing and vivid song of the past decade about persevering and overcoming break-up hardships. "I hung new posters on my wall, and the dog don't remember your name," our victim sings.

Few songs have ever summed up the idea of having "moved on" from a relationship so succinctly and poignantly.

Being able to capture something other than heartbreak from a break-up is admirable. It is something that is done well so rarely and gives a listener hope that something positive can emerge from the wreckage of a relationship. Happy Valentine's Day!

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