Here at the Jackson Free Press, we get a lot of mail.
Much of it is legitimate correspondence in the form of helpful news tips and provocative letters to the editors. Some of it is comprised of the off-the-wall brain leakings of people who clearly have more free time on their hands than other human beings to interact with.
But it's all good. We take the good with the crazy.
Every now and then we get a piece of mail that even sends a shudder through us grizzled newspaper veterans. Such was the case this afternoon with a manila envelope showed up addressed to Central Mississippi Tea Party c/o Jackson Free Press with a return address of Chicopee, Mass.
Donna, Todd and me all had the same initial reaction to the shady-looking epistle: Where the hell is Chicopee and is there a hummus factory there? Then we wondered why a Tea Party chapter on the East Coast would be sending us -- us! -- mail.
Maybe they saw our recent interview with three members of the local Tea Party during which the group's female president said the country might have been better off if women had never been given the right to vote and thought 'This is our kinda paper.'
When very, very cautiously opened the package, we were a bit surprised what was in it.
Can you guess?
After thousands upon millions of requests -- okay, more like nine -- we're ready to reveal the contents of the letter that arrived at the JFP offices yesterday.
It was just a couple photos and a rather bizarre letter denouncing Democratic Party ideals and complaining about how hard how tough it is to be a Tea Partier in the "liberal bastion" that produced the current Republican presidential nominee.
The letter also highlighted such weirdly out of context maxims as "'DEMOCRAT'" IS COMMUNISM WITH AN INVITING TAPIOCA FLAVOR" and "America--enchained and slowly eaten alive by the sofa."
If you're disappointed, so are we. We've come to expect so much lunacy from the Tea Party that we were dismayed that the envelope didn't contain Level III biohazards, effigies of progressive politicians, a Ted Nugent promotional CD or actual tapioca.
It's still early, though.