Caroline Lacy is a local singer/songwriter who strongly believes in shop therapy. Her super-genius 6-year-old and savagely witty and handsome boyfriend keep her happy and laughing.
I tend to reside on the outer edges of fashion forwardness. I don't dress according to the norm I guess you should say, and the contents of my closet are anything but bland. With all the brightly colored shoes and clutches, the knee- high combat boots, t-shirts with racy comments, red and black vinyl pants, and a couple dresses cut down to my navel and requiring 'fashion tape' to keep everything under wraps, and all sorts of anything-but-conservative clothing in my closet, I can honestly say there are some things that are even a little too off the wall for me and will never be a part of my wardrobe.
First on this list are Sarah Hood Living Rings, $800. These are little living plants such as cacti or vine-type plants in tiny terra cotta pots atop sterling silver rings. When I see fashion such as this I can't imagine it being used for anything but a conversation peice or something for fashion photography. I would imagine walking down a crowded street would be considered rude if you were wearing a cactus.
Next are 'roach brooches'. These are actual living crawling roaches that are decorated with Swarovski crystals and connected to a thin chain that acts as a leash so that the roach can crawl around flashing its little crystals and not slither down your blouse. They were designed in Salt Lake City by designer Jared Gold and sell for $40 to a much higher price depending on how much bling the roach is wearing. They live for about four days with minimum care. I have lost jewelry but not ever due to its death.
I have also seen dresses made of bubble wrap, Ramen noodle packaging, and coin purses made of Skoal packages. These have no appeal to me though I would consider silver or black duct tape as possible fabric for an outfit or two.
I am definitely on Jackson's extreme end of fashion but wearing a 3 inch roach from Madagascar that actually hisses is where I draw the line.
Beauty can be dangerous for a clumsy girl who is willing to sacrifice a few moments of comfort for beauty.
I have just pulled what seems like the 100th bobby pin out of the hair-extension-filled updo I have worn on my head all day. While fiercely scratching my sore scalp and shaking out the tightness the fabulous hairdo left my scalp tingling with, I suddenly realized that I have been in slight pain numerous times for the sake of beauty, and after factoring in my accident-prone nature and clumsiness, I have realized that I might just really hurt myself one day.
I started my day with a nice hot shower and cut myself with my razor while doing what probably looks like a contortionist's circus act. In a rather small shower, you have to be a bit flexible to get all the right shaving angles. Then, rinsing the shampoo out of my hair burned the cut on the back of my knee. I stepped out of the shower, and instead of feeling a soft bath mat, I felt the excruciating pain of my son's Lego digging into the bottom of my foot. Things went pretty safely after that until I jabbed myself in the eye with a mascara wand while putting on my makeup. I must have been paying attention to the small burn mark that is finally beginning to heal on my forehead from my curling iron.
I put on my new dress that goes perfect with my favorite red heels. Those shoes hurt my feet if I walk in them for more than an hour but I love them. They may be uncomfortable but anyone with an adoration of shoes understands this sacrifice. I went to the mall to make an exchange and ended up staying there for two hours, probably fueled by the Starbucks that is now in the mall which happens to be right across from Godiva where I bought chocolate for lunch. With aching feet I went to the fabulous shoe sale going on right now at Belk and tried on about 8 pairs, none of which I bought no matter how strong my urge to splurge got. I noticed that my shoes were actually causing a blister on my heel. I decided it was time to go home, but only after I tried on that amazing blue dress I passed by earlier. While trying it on, the strap caught my nose ring and gave it a nice little tug. It didn't feel so good, but I bought it anyway. It should be making its debut at Hal & Mal's Friday night for the Capital City Roller Girls benefit.
I had a couple other mishaps today, such as a wire hanger getting caught in my hair, the zipper on the side of my dress that gave me a bit of a rash, and probably many other things too slight to remember.
I had not realized before today just how much discomfort I go through on a daily basis for the sake of fashion. Maybe it's a bit vain, maybe it's unnecessary, maybe it's prissy, but I believe it is worth it. I feel like a million bucks in those red shoes and no little blister is going to stop me.
A stylish and sophisticated image can be shattered with bad manners and a potty-mouth.
If one thing can detract from a fabulous outfit it's a dirty mouth. It's one thing to swear, it's another to just be gross. Being a lover of words, I try to choose a variety of colorful ones to use during conversation. I would much rather listen to someone telling a descriptive story without every other word containing 4 letters. Swearing and graphic launguage does not usually offend me, but there is a time and a place for it. I know there are many people who will say that they don't care what others think and that they can talk however they please, and that is fine for them as long as they don't expect to be taken seriously. Not only do I have respect for others and want respect from others, I want the parts of my personality and intelligence that I respect about myself to have a chance to be heard or seen and the simple truth is that people who resort to using filthy language on a regular basis are seen as being less intelligent. Strong language is not the same as powerful language. Manners can go a long way. Here is why:
1. You never know who is standing behind you. I learned my lesson in high school when referring to my English teacher, who I actually had a great deal of respect for, as a B****. I turned around and she was right there. I was horrified. I apologized but things were always a little tense after that.
2. Your arguments lose power and influence. Swearing and name calling and graphic language can come off as having an over-emotional response, which automatically makes you seem less in-control. You may have a very valid point to an argument but people will shut down their attention when threatening language is directed at them. A truly clever person would know how to deliver their negative feelings on fluffy little clouds of kindness and focus on the subject rather than the emotion it may create
3. People will assume you are less educated. I don't agree with that but it's just a fact of life. It's not going to change, so cleaning up a dirty mouth doesn't seem like too much of a sacrifice to let my fabulous brains shine through.
4. You are disrespecting children. When I am shopping at the grocery store with my 6 year old son and a group of teens passes by using horrible language loud enough for my son's jaw to drop, the first thing I think is,"did their parents not teach them to respect children?" What kind of idiot can't replace a 4 letter word for the time it takes to walk by a small child. That's just ridiculous.
5. It doesn't make you appear tough. It makes you appear defensive. Defensive people are usually scaredy cats.
6. You will be more successful. At a party you never know who you could be talking to. You may go to a job interview only to find that your dream job interviewer heard you trash-talk another girl last night. That's what they will remember.
7. People will watch what they say around you. This is a sure sign that they have respect for you and appreciate your reserved nature when they feel awkward about swearing around you. Talk about a self-esteem booster.
I use some pretty disgusting language when I'm with people I have known a long time and they have similar swearing habits. Save it for a late night pool hall or when you are with friends and you will find that just a few good manners can have huge benefits for you in relationships, friendships, networking, and career.
There is only one thing I hate shopping for:jeans. It seems that The Gap is the only place that caters to my body type. I have curves. I have a tiny waist with pin-up hips and I am only 5' 2". I really don't like having to pay $70 to $80 bucks for a pair of jeans either. It's the only thing besides shoes I will spend more money on.
Clothing is not made for a typically sized person. There is a petite section in most department stores but the styles usually consist of powder blue polyester and matronly, mother-of-the-bride type dresses. The juniors section rarely has pants that could fit me withought paying extra for tailoring. Are all 16 year olds becoming Amazon women? I don't think so.
I have read that only 9% of American women fit the model insustry's standard of the perfect body type. So why are designers only designing for 9% of the country? That makes absolutely no sense. How are they even staying in business? I can only think of about 3 stores that have petite pants that I can actually afford. This must be the reason I see so many high school girls with jeans that are so long that the bottoms cover half their feet and their tattered remains are discolored from dragging the ground and getting sandwiched between their heels and their flip-flops.
One advantage I do have is the ever so popular trend of the tunic style shirt. I can usually wear them as dresses. They are everywhere right now and very affordable in most stores so I have a gazillion of them. They are perfect for keeping cool in Mississippi heat. Some 50's style clothing is regaining popularity and I have a body made for those waist-cinching tailored knee-length style dresses and really short shorts so I definitely use it to my advantage. (See Mother's Day Jackson Free Press cover, yes that's me as a hot-mama pin-up girl).
Honoring my Dad's most impressionable quality for Father's Day
People say you can tell a lot about a person from looking into their eyes, but with my father it is his hands that reveal his history, his nature, his strength, and his elegance. I have always loved his hands. They are physically strong as well as strong in presence. The way he holds a pen to write a check or sign a work document with the cuff of the sleeve of his suit perfectly framing his lower palm as he sits at his desk at work is an image that is permanently etched in my mind. You can see hard work in their texture, knowledge in their expression, and class in the way they hold a martini.
I have hands like his, only feminine, but they retain all of the qualities about them that I love so much in my father's hands. They have strength enough to change tires and hammer nails but are gentle enough to wipe tears away when my son is crying. They have an air of sophistication but do not always boast with long nails or bright polish. They have strong veins that ripple as I type or play piano. The palms are well lined and would give a fortune teller hours of work. My son also has inherited these hands and I can't wait to watch them grow.
Our parents give us our first impression of a man and woman. As a young girl I believe his hands helped shape what would forever define masculinity for me as an adult. I have never been able to
date a man with weak hands. I have always needed to be with a man wtih hands I could not overpower with my own. My boyfriend Ray has hands that match my own in elegance, kindness, and expression. I love him for that. I know that when he meets my father and shakes his hand their will be no weakness shown from either of them and that makes me proud. When Ray hold my hand their is equality. I feel safe as his left hand rests over mine as we sleep. I love the way his hand settles heavily on the back of my neck as we walk through the parking lot of the grocery store and warms me more than the hot summer sun above us.
I hope Ray's children will see their father's hands the way I saw my father's and will remember them all their lives. That would be my father's day wish for him.
Also...
John Parker, who I wrote about for Men We Love, and I will be perofrming at Jubilee Jam on Saturday with The Arnold Lindsay Band. Not sure of which stage. Time is either at 3 or 4. Check the schedule and come see us!!!
I will be spending the rest of today shopping for a stylish outfit to wear in the smoldering Jackson heat, which will probably be even more suffocating on the stage.
My boyfriend teases that I only go out to see cute outfits on other girls. It's true. I love dressing for a night out but I also love to see other people expressing themselves with fashion. Not just the women, the men too. It's intersting, and some times disturbing, to see how people adorn themselves. From ripped jeans to stilletos, everyone feels best in ther own style.
W.C. Don's definitely has character. I have seen some interstingly dressed people there, including a turquoise leotard with leg warmers. I would feel comfortable in vinyl pants or a cocktail dress, both of which I have worn there. Elixir is a great place to get classy and flaunt a well-dressed boyfriend. The drinks are even stylish. To me this is what makes for a great night out. The fashion sense of individuals can be just as much a part of the atmosphere as neon lighting. I would love to see more of that in Jackson. I think nightlife in Jackson would grow if there were more variety to entertain us. I mean more variety in music, atmosphere and style. I don't mean that everyone should be dressed to the nine's, but it would be nice to just see more of an effort in waking up the creativity of socializing with a more fashion-forward crowd.
My boyfriend and I are most likely going out tonight and I hope everyone will be interestingly individual. I'll do my part.
I don't think skin cancer would flatter me. I'm using sunscreen.
My grandmother died of skin cancer before I was old enough to remember her. She was absolutely gorgeous. She had smooth milky skin, green eyes, and beautiful curly black hair. She looked like she belonged in a movie with Cary Grant. I see her beauty and I'm inspired to stay out of the tanning salons and wear sunscreen. I wish more people could do the same.
I was once embarrassed by my lack of tan. I wanted bronzed skin that glowed in the sun like so many other girls, so I went to a tanning salon. Though I have a very light skin tone, I can tan quite easily and not burn. The tanning beds combined with the tanning lotion accelerators with triple-bronzing-set-your-skin-on-fire-tingle-action worked beautifully. I acheived a radiant summer glow. The health risks, however, were always somewhere int he back of my mind as I lay in the ironically coffin-shaped tanning bed. My Grandmother died of skin cancer and my sister once had to have a melanoma removed from her arm. I had no business getting a tan.
I had to reevaluate why I was willing to kill myself just to have a tan. It's incredibly foolish when you really think about it. I knew why though. I thought it would clear up my skin, make me look slimmer, younger, and more fit, and it did. Those results, we all know, are temporary. I decided to take the money I was willing to spend on early wrinkles and actually fix my problems. A tanning bed can cost $50 bucks a month or more. I joined a gym. It only costs $30 a month and the benefits are far greater than having a tan. I lost about 15 pounds which was really all I needed to lose, gained more stamina, have healthier looking skin, and I'm even happier.
There are so many ideas of beauty in the world. I think the many colors of the human race make the world more interesting. It would be a shame to spoil that by wanting to all look the same. We should all embrace whatever color or shade we were born with and flaunt it like it's the hottest new trend. That is what I have learned to do. If you need inspiration just look at Rose McGowan, Nicole kidman, Scarlett Johansen, or women of the forties. They don't tan and they are gorgeous.
If you are tanning to look thinner, join a gym instead.
If you tan to get rid of skin problems, birth control pills can help along with a good consistant skin care regimen.
If you tan because of the relaxing effects of UV rays, find other ways to get sunshine without killing yourself. Take a walk early in the morning. Take a drive with the windows down and the music up.
Just use sunscreen. There is no good excuse. Tanning is not worth it. I dare everyone to stay out of the tanning salons this summer. Love the skin you are in.
Can feminists wear micro-minis and still be taken seriously?
The word feminist, as I understand it, describes a woman who believes in the right to make decisions about her life as an individual, not as a certain sex. To me, feminism can mean choosing to be a married woman staying home with five kids while her husband works, just as much as it can mean a woman who chooses not to have children and focus on a career. There are also many women who choose a life somewhere in the middle. The point is that it is all about choice. I choose to work and be home for my son at night, and I choose to get married. I also choose to wear very short skirts. Why does this make some women so angry?
On my 30th birthday I decided to wear a very short, sexy little red thing (think Jessica Rabbit's sultry red gown chopped off way above the knee). I consider myself lucky to be short. Because of my petite size (I'm 5'2"), I can pull things off like extemely high stilletos and really short dresses without looking like a hooker, and I work out, so why not wear a hot red dress on my birthday? I met my friends at Elixir, one of my favorites around town because of the Mississippi Martinis, to start out the evening. They all loved my dress, though I must admit I was a bit self-concious in it.
One girl at the bar, however, was obviously offended by it. She came over to our table, sat down by me and whispered in my ear, "Honey, I think the length of your dress makes you look easy." I was really shocked. If that dress had been on Sarah Jessica Parker in an episode of "Sex and the City," it would have been perfectly acceptable. This girl, to me, is definitely not a feminist. I realized at that moment I was wearing a very powerful statement for feminism. Maybe I should have embroidered the words "all this and brains too" on the front of the dress. That would have really gotten her judgemental panties in a wad.
I don't see anything wrong with a woman displaying her sexuality, and I don't assume she is easy or less intelligent than a woman who chooses to cover up a bit more. What's really disturbing to me is that it's the women who are the judgemental ones when it comes to other women and how much they choose to reveal. If the feminist ideal is to allow women to be themselves, then why are other women making comments like the one the girl in Elixir made to me? My dress was fabulous ... absolutely fabulous!
Wearing the wrong outfit makes me feel like someone else
I loved meeting so many interesting people at the chick ball. There were many outfits to be admired. I changed my mind about the dress I bought to wear that night at the last minute. I was determined to wear something pink which is a bit out of character for me. Several days before the chick ball, after searching all over town for something pink I actually liked, I found a short, pink, pleated skirt which immediately make me think of Audrey Hepburn and couldn't think of a better person to represent girlieness, especially with my love of old movies. I even bought some hair extensions so I could put my hair up in a huge Hepburn bun right on top of my head. I got the whole ensemble together and tried it on several times. It was cute. It was stylish. It was pink, but it just didn't feel right. I just can't wear pink, at least not that much of it. I don't fel like a grown-up. I could be wearing a hot pink stripper thong and still just feel unsophisticated. I couldn't do it. It just wasn't me. I'm much more Betty Page than I am Audery hepburn. So, out of time for shopping, I dug through the dep recesses of my closet and found a dress I bought months ago from Hudon's for 5 bucks. It was a bit snug at the time, but I bought it as a weight-loss motivator and it must have worked. I hesitantly tried it on, not wanting to be dissappointed, but lo and behold, it looked fabulous. I instantly felt gorgeous, sexy, and all grown up. This was definitely the dress. I called my boyfriend and said,"You know how I dragged you all over the place for days shopping for that perfect pink outfit you bought for me? Well, I changed my mind?" Being the incredible guy that he is and who knows me well enough to understand my intense love for fashion, was not upset at all. In fact, he even made sure we looked great together by picking out a suit that complemented my dress. I doubt he would have done that if I had worn pink though.
I should have known not to try to force myself into a look. It never works. Style is not what you wear, it's how you wear it.
'Buy Me, Caroline': Tales of An Experienced Clearance Shopper
Posted on May 11, 07 | 11:44 am
I can smell a clearance sale a mile away.
I believe I was born with a radar in my brain that can detect the faint sound of red clearance price stickers being applied to shoes, lamps, stationary, imported chocolates, and a hundreds of other items being shoved together on shelves in any shopping venue within a few miles of my wallet. I often leave the house for mundane items like hamburger buns and deodorant and come home with a complete outfit, accessories and all, for under $50. I have found a Betsey Johnson necklace for $4., BCBG shoes for $10., a complete set of Pier 1 plates for $15., and the list goes on and on.
I consider myself very lucky to have this radar, even if one day I discover that it was installed by a radical retail militia enlisted by the government to boost the economy, but getting to the sale is one thing, finding the good stuff is another. Clearance racks and shelves aren't exactly known for organized, easy browsing; you often have to dig. I have literally gotten my hands dirty form rummaging through shelves of broken bottles oozing shampoo and assorted lotions to find the one that I felt calling to me. It says something like this: "Buy me Caroline. I used to be overpriced brand name shampoo and out of your reach, but I'm cheap now. I'm the one you've been waiting for." How could I resist?
Patience is another thing I have been blessed with that allows me to find ridiculously low prices. I have no problem sifting through every item on every rack of an entire store. Depending on the size of the store, I can spend up to three hours scanning every square inch in search of a perfectly priced product.
I am currently on a quest to find something artsy and unique for my barren bathroom wall. With a vision in my head and my radar to guide me I'm sure I will find it along with many bargains on the way.
Apr 13, 08 | 5:06 pm No 'Unnamed Sources,' Ledger? You sure? ladd: Interesting. Bill Skinner posted under Mitchell's story to give a fuller picture of the interview he gave Mitchell:
I was not attacking Judge Delaughter, Jerry Mitchell took a 45 minute interview about mortages, former law partners, and...
Apr 13, 08 | 2:16 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur ladd: Either we have to believe that black men are inherently criminal, or not educable, or someone has made a big mistake and something is very wrong with the system.
That statement is so, so important, will. People don't think through the...
Apr 13, 08 | 2:06 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur willdufauve: America is a racist country built on genocide and slavery. We're all imbued with racism. Even the kindest, most honorable and fair minded person is imbued with the racism that's pervasive in the culture. Nothing makes people act more crazy than...
Apr 13, 08 | 12:30 pm My Statement About Mike Lacey’s Use of Racial Slur ladd: More response yesterday by Mr. Lacey. I like this:
One week before the SPJ award, we were feted by the ACLU as civil libertarians of the year...
Apr 13, 08 | 12:28 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur ladd: More response by Mr. Lacey. I like this:
One week before the SPJ award, we were feted by the ACLU as civil libertarians of the year because of...
Apr 13, 08 | 12:14 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur Kacy: Agreed. The way he rambled, I sensed that he was searching for something to say, which is all the more reason he should have followed this age-old dictum regarding speakers affairs such as the banquet: 'be brief and be seated'. Had he done so, maybe...
Apr 13, 08 | 10:57 am No 'Unnamed Sources,' Ledger? You sure? ladd: Is this where Mitchell got the story tip about the house?
Hat tip to Folo folks for getting there first.
And...
Apr 13, 08 | 10:52 am No 'Unnamed Sources,' Ledger? You sure? ladd: Let's look at this paragraph in specific:
There has been no suggestion by any of those cooperating with federal authorities that DeLaughter accepted any money. Disbarred New Albany lawyer Tim Balducci testified in a recent hearing that...
Apr 13, 08 | 10:28 am Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur ladd: Also note that the offending slur was said in context of telling drinking stories. You can't argue educational value of any kind....
Apr 12, 08 | 9:57 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur Kacy: Donna, I watched and listened to the video and I honestly have to wonder if the man wasn't drunk. He referred to one journalist whose name he couldn't remember as "that godda*m guy" (or something very similar). His remarks were sprinkled with other...
Apr 11, 08 | 11:25 pm My Statement About Mike Lacey’s Use of Racial Slur ladd: I don't know who would sanction him, golden. AAN is a trade association, and policing is not our role. Nor should it be.
I truly think that more speech, and getting people to think about this and then put those lessons into play, is the best...
Apr 11, 08 | 7:04 pm My Statement About Mike Lacey’s Use of Racial Slur ladd: The letter from the local Arizona chapter president (PDF at the SPJ link) addressed the First Amendment issue very well:
In your apology, you make reference to the fact that our banquet was an event to honor journalists whose work furthers the...
Apr 11, 08 | 6:59 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur ladd: So, here is a statement I sent to AAN this afternoon reflecting my personal views, as well as my take on this as the AAN diversity chair. Due to various meetings and...
Apr 11, 08 | 6:29 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur ladd: I don't care if the target was his dog. He still shouldn't have said it.
Thank you, Latasha. I'm so tired of people missing the point. Or skipping over it.
He takes it well and immediately locates a wireless hub.)...
Apr 11, 08 | 5:28 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur Lori G: I'm noticing a new white male backlash that's more vehement than anyhting I've seen in 30 years. it's coming from people who feel entitle dto it beause maybe they we're for civil rights, in theory, but now gas is $3.40, jobs are down,...
Apr 11, 08 | 5:05 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur willdufauve: "But the fact that white guys are jumping on that bandwagon is really weird and disturbing." laddie
Race in America, slavery, the genocide of native peoples, is a stain that doesn't wash out, like the original sin. It's made everyone a little...
Apr 11, 08 | 4:48 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur L.W.: Here's the most recent response, by the way, on the AAN site. This one seems to argue that it makes a big difference that the target of Lacey's slur was his white friend.
I don't care if the target was his dog. He still shouldn't have...
Apr 11, 08 | 3:46 pm Village Voice Media Owner Offends with Racial Slur ladd: I feel you, will. I'm a bit uncomfortable myself in a world that pounces more strongly on someone calling for sensitivity, or using the world "bigot," than it does on someone who uses a racial slur.
I'm also really concerned about a perceived...
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