Brother Hustle: "Welcome to another Compensatory Investment Request Holiday Season Special Meeting. This time of the year is very crucial for independent vendors. It's our end-of-the-year effort to earn enough money to pay for those electric, gas and grocery bills. As compassionate and sympathetic entrepreneurs, we know and understand that "All Lives Matter" for the common folk during Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.
"The purpose of this meeting is to encourage, motivate and prepare small-business owners to sell goods at affordable prices to our financially challenged and strapped customers; therefore, we will not promote sales that force consumers to spend beyond their means. All compensatory investment-request businesses will not tolerate catfights and brawls over discounted items. Our goal for this holiday season is to provide our valued customers a pleasant and peaceful shopping experience during this turbulent time; therefore, we will not be afraid of the terrorism by night or the escalation of distrust during the day.
"With all that said, let us end our economic endeavors on a positive note. Be sure to make sales between you and your customer a winning transaction. Also, during this holiday season, please make a sincere effort not to allow yourself and your customers to become another day older and deeper in debt owing your soul to those company stores. And you know what I'm talking about, right?
"Our next compensatory investment request support group meeting will cover the Vendor's Lives Matter movement. Be careful out there."