Jackson Free Press

T he seeking of a mate seems a daunting task, but it does not have to be. All that is required is an open mind and a hearty, insatiable appetite. Approach men as if they are items on a vast buffet. The idea is to sample as many items as possible without making yourself sick. You will find that, as in food, taste varies from woman to woman. There are multitudes of options available. The choices range from a basic peach tart (a simple sweet man) to chicken parmesan (complex and heavy). Sometimes all you want is a donut (tastes great with no nutritional value). There are also the more exotic flavors like arugula (nutty with a bitter aftertaste) and chili peppers (hot, hot, hot).

There is no reason to watch what you eat when you are young. Your late teenage years and early twenties are a trial-and-error period, much like learning to make the perfect biscuits. You may think that you will never learn, but by trying again and again, success will surely be found. Listen to those that have gone before and learn from them. Don't worry about heartburn. Feel free to eat chili dogs (really filling and a little cheesy). Eat as much ice cream as you want (sweet but cold and can leave you with a headache). Whatever you do, do not diet and do not get stuck in a rut. Travel the world and sample everything that is available. Try things that are unfamiliar and foreign like prosciutto (Italian and spicy) and sushi (neat and tiny). However, while you are out in the world sampling, you are sure to find things that do not agree with you.

When you come across something that leaves a foul taste in your mouth, you may feel free to return to more habitual arenas. Stick with sandwiches and fruit (familiar and good for a laugh) for a while, until you are comfortable enough to brave the buffet again.

If you're wondering how to know which morsel to try, the easiest approach is to go for what looks the best. But sometimes the strangest looking can be the most fulfilling. If everyone else is clamoring for the prime rib (loaded with cholesterol) try something different, go for the (Ph)ish.

There is an oft-quoted cliché claiming that even if steak is your favorite meal, you do not want to eat it every day for the rest of your life. Well, sometimes you really have to choose. It is up to you how your steak is cooked, and you can always dress it up a little. Grind up your steak and have a hamburger. You can slice it and have fajitas. You're allowed to choose any side you desire. Steak (and men) are only limited to how they are prepared. The only restraint is your own imagination.

After years of tasting, your palate begins to desire something a little calmer, and you begin to lean toward comfort. You find that you are starved for a hearty meal that has no surprises in store. This is what is referred to the "Manwich period." A woman requires stability in her life. A Manwich can always be depended upon to be what it is. It may not be visually appetizing, but you know it is good, and you know it is easy. Also called Sloppy Joes, these sandwiches are meant to be enjoyed in comfortable clothes. There is no need to dress fancy or put on makeup. You will find that this is the meal you have been searching for. Nothing else can compare. All desire for other meals will melt away, leaving you nothing but satisfied and full.

Enjoy all the flavors life has to offer when you are young; nothing is stopping you. This is not a complicated strategy, and there is much fun to be had. You do not need to spend money on books, magazines or high-priced dating services. The meal you are searching for is more likely than not right under your nose, and all you have to do is sniff. Life may belong to those that taste, but remember you are what you eat—save room for a Manwich.
Jackson native J. Bingo Holman is a writer, Ole Miss student and a founding editor of the Jackson Free Press.

Previous Comments

ID

84287

Comment

Excellent analogy but I'm a bit scared of the grinding references. Also, I've never tried (Ph)ish but once had a roommate that couldn't get enough of it... (Ph)ish and Greatful (Br)ead were her favorite plates. Besos Bingo!

Author

kaust

Date

2004-03-11T17:32:48-06:00