Mars, Venus or whatever, men will never understand women. Think about it. From the beginning, the enigma of woman has been shrouded from man in a cloak of mystery. Eve was created while Adam slept. Wouldn't you know? Important work always gets done while men are sleeping. And I don't think he's missed that rib, yet.
Though a mystery to men, women intuitively connect with each other. In fact, we cling to each other. We love each other in spite of ourselves. As we mature—physically and emotionally—most of us gain a greater appreciation not only of who we are, but for the women in our lives. We need each other in a fundamental way. Of course, I love my husband: He's my best friend and soulmate. I enjoy his company above all others. But sometimes my life needs a woman's touch for conversation, comfort and camaraderie.
Women hug and kiss and cuddle without a thought of "does this look gay?" But it's more than that. Women are uniquely vulnerable to the evils of the world that only we suffer. Men can't relate to our concerns, like walking across a dark parking lot alone or losing our independence. Women also nurture a hurt, an ache for the world that men usually dismiss as weakness. But our vulnerability and our pain make us strong. Those qualities build character. That fear factor helps women discern that there is something far bigger than us, something that we must tap into in order to live, to thrive and to be complete.
Sadly, women are also our own worst critics. We scrutinize and analyze each other more than any man would. Head to toe and back again, our instincts can surmise another woman's motives before she's properly introduced herself. And don't we often wear that certain dress or those stylish shoes to impress other women or maybe even to strike envy in the hearts of our sisters?
My husband certainly thinks so. I can remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror, comb in hand and styling products piled around the sink. We were heading out to visit friends, the usual Friday night, Blockbuster, fast-food kind of affair. I heard him chuckle from the bedroom. He commented that the only reason I was going to so much trouble was to elicit compliments from our friend's wife about my new haircut. "Oh, girl, I love your hair. It has so much body," he mocked in a really bad female impersonation. I rolled my eyes in disgust and, of course, bitterly denied his claims as ridiculous and shallow, but … I silently agreed with his assessment.
I admit that I often seek acceptance and approval from other women. That makes me human and distinctly female. A video from one of my Sunday School classes brought this concept home clearly. The tape depicted the interaction between groups of boys and groups of girls. Throughout their conversation, each boy in the male group tried to "one up" his companions. For example, one little boy stated that his toy could fly to the sky; and another boy countered that his toy could reach the sun while another youngster said his could go "all the way up to God." The conversation among the little girls was quite different. When one little girl shared a particular experience, the other girls automatically tried to relate a similar experience or at least mention someone they knew who had been there or done that.
Our natural instinct is to bond and sympathize. I guess that's why it is so painful when we feel wronged or betrayed by another woman. Several women I know say that they specifically avoid close friendships with women for that very reason.
Yes, women can be intense. We love hard, fight hard and retaliate even harder. It's part of our emotional depth as well as our socialization. Women can be so restricted in or injured by their relationships (often by the men in their lives) that we lash out at our sisters instead of seeking support and shelter from them.
Imagine Eve after the Fall: She's all alone packing up her meager household to depart the Garden of Eden. Adam is pointing the finger at her, the serpent snickers behind her back, and God seems to have abandoned her. She has no sisters to lean on. Poor Eve suffers alone, contemplating her plight to roam the earth (stuck with Adam no less) and bear his children in pain. That dark biblical moment has clung to every woman like a sacred birthright. Let's reach out to each other here on the other side of Eden's gates. Let's try to compensate for Eve's lack of sisterly solidarity. Every woman should be laboring to ensure that no other woman ever goes it alone again.
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