What Happened to Men?

Now, there's a compelling headline!

My long-time theory is that our macho culture is as bad for men as it is for women. That is, it can be damn hard for many men to live up to (or down to) what society expects of them. This is why I hate the "boys will be boys" excuses for sexual abuse so much.

I think the problem lies in the lack of decent role models. We need a few good men to mentor and get involved. You know, lead them in the proper path of being a reliable worker, dedicated family man and model citizen. Too many kids these days look up to unrealistic images on TV or criminals who glamorize their behavior (won't name names here).

It's nothing new. Evolution gave males a certain skill set. We're primarily wired for hunting down large animals in small groups and solving problems using spatial reasoning. In relatively sedentary environments where verbal skills are paramount and cooperation is emphasized over competition --i.e., education and a growing segment of the economy-- it's no surprise that men fall behind. It's only manifesting itself now because this is the first point in history at which women have gotten a relatively level playing field on which to compete.

Law Talkin' guy

So, you are saying that men are helpless to change? That men cannot help but be addicted, abusive, and so forth? I presume you are not, so help me understand better what you are saying.

No, I'm saying biology gives us certain tendencies. Obviously, with a lot of work, any given individual can overcome any given tendency. Muggsy Bogues was 5' 3" and played in the NBA. But generally speaking, we shouldn't be surprised when they manifest themselves in the population at large.

The problem is men accepting these so-called macho or manly roles as the intended way for us to act and respond. By doing this, we limit ourselves to growth, learning and to the proven and trusted ways that belie any sexual role or identification. If you hurt, what's wrong with showing or admitting it? If you need counseling, what's wrong with getting it? If you need love, why not seek it? After all, as Don D. C. Curry says," If you need something, you just need it." What good does pretending do you.

I have never foolishly accepted roles that deny good sense and judgment no matter what person, sage or fool gave me the advise. Why not trust your feelings and instincts. God wouldn't have given them to us if we didn't need them. Sure, I'll pretend to others I'm not hurt or don't need anything when I do. As soon as I'm along I rush to get the help I need. Even this shows a bad socialization on my part.

I guess the answer is: we men are falling for our own bullcrap and risking our mental health. Women can teach us many things. No wonder they birth us intead of the opposite!

Instincts and feelings have to be coupled with cerebration and judgment that come from the top head.