Top 13 Ways Oxford Can Replace the Debate

Now that John McCain is cutting and running from the first debate, the town of Oxford is left bursting at the seams with people, reporters, and lots of extra food, booze and energy. So, the JFP staff decided to them out and come up with alternative activities for Friday evening.

1. Pick-up Ultimate Frisbee between the Gay-Straight Alliance and the College Republicans.
2. Get high and roll Rowan Oak.
3. Stage a 50-meter dash to the Chevron for chicken-on-a-stick.
4. An NRA-sponsored Great Liberal Hunt. Grand Master Dick Cheney.
5. A March for Beer from Oxford to Memphis.
6. The Presidential Pakistani Pub Pounce.
7. A bacchanalian push to bump the University of Florida out of first place for party school.
8. Inflatable Sumo Wrestling Match (to the strains of "Dixie," just for effect.)
9. Civil War Re-enactment: Haley Barbour leads the graying rebels against the "blue" liberals of The New York Times. Khayat plays Lincoln.
10. All the media meet at the Grove and then fan out around the state, looking for a Klansman.
11. The Ross Barnett Memorial Scavenger Hunt.
12. Oxford Fashion Week, Sarah Palin Edition (Mass makeovers on the Square! The tallest bouffant wins!)
13. A Revival of the Fittest, St. James Version.

 
posted by ladd on 09/24/08 at 05:38 PM. [printer-friendly version]   

posted by ladd on 09/24/08 at 05:50 PM

posted by FreeClif on 09/24/08 at 07:17 PM