[Sue Doh Nem] Spam Before Catastrophe

by Sue Doh Nem
July 23, 2008

Ms. Doodle Mae: “Jojo asked me to address his customers again; he’s so bashful. But he can sure motivate his fellow employee and delegate the public speaking responsibilities. Here’s his trick: He says I’m the Michelle Obama of the dollar-store business.

“Jojo realizes the troubles of the world, through his own observation of mass media. Even the rose-colored sunglasses of oblivion and denial cannot block out the bright, blinding realities of suffering, frustration and uncertainty. If what I’m saying sounds cynical or whiney, maybe it is. But I’m not the lone voice crying in the wilderness of a world in turmoil. The whole world weeps!

“Today, common people must face their fears, dry their tears, prepare for anything and stock up on basic needs before the tidal wave of catastrophic events—such as price-gouging, limited health care, bank closings and mass home foreclosures.

“Whoa! I need to curb my speech before some cartoonist publishes a satirical illustration of JoJo and me fist-bumping while the American flag burns.

“Nevertheless, Jojo invites his loyal customers to the ‘Summer Hoard Sale of ’08!’ This mid-summer, Jojo will overstock his store with the items you need to hoard before a national economic breakdown. So, as soon as you hear this announcement, come on down to Jojo’s Discount Dollar Store—while the prices are right—to buy the items you might need, such as toilet paper, bottled water and good ol’ spam!”

 
posted by on 07/23/08 at 07:21 PM. [printer-friendly version]