[Kamikaze]  Embracing Who I Am

by Kamikaze
January 4, 2012

I'm a fan of MSNBC's "Morning Joe." At the end of every show, in a segment called "What have we learned today," each of the hosts tells one thing new that they learned on that's day's show. It's always interesting, because as well-read as the hosts are, they still take in some new information almost daily.

No matter how old we are, no matter how much we "know," time is the best teacher. If I've found one thing in 2011, it's that you never, ever stop learning.

Everyone talks about resolutions in the new year, but I chose to reflect on those things revealed to me over the past 365 days. I have a lot of anxiety preparing a child for college. My oldest will be attending Jackson State University next fall majoring in biology and environmental science. She's graduating top of her class, and we are all proud of her. But once I started thinking about books, college parties and dorm visitation, I was more flustered than she was on high-school day at JSU.

Parents know the feeling of watching a child grow into adulthood. I remember like it was yesterday my daughter sitting in her car seat on my desk at the Jackson Advocate as I conducted an interview. Now, in 2011, we were talking about new vehicles and freshman curriculums. 

As my oldest pushed closer to higher education in 2011, my youngest daughter had her first birthday. Last year, I learned wrangling with a toddler is a lot of work. I got back into the swing of getting up with the roosters, dressing an already hyper little girl and getting her to day care. I learned that when it's time, I can pick up where I left off—even if it's been 14 years. 

Not to leave out those two boys of mine—16 and 14—by any means. In 2011, I learned that even as I try to be a role model, I have to let teenage boys grow into their own personalities. I had to recall when my dad was perplexed at my "style," when he didn't understand the new slang or the new music he heard blaring from my room. At this stage, I know I need to remain firm but approachable enough to where my sons can talk to me about anything. 

Most importantly, I learned about myself this past year. You guys have read about the ups and downs in my life through my columns and blogs. I spent most of 2010 trying to be what others wanted me to be, whether it was working in the corporate world, working in the community or running a downtown venue. I tried to dress like folks wanted me to. I pulled far away from my music. I bit my tongue for fear of "offending" someone important. I lived for others as much as I urged people to do just the opposite.

But maturity is becoming aware and proud of who you are and embracing it; others be damned. I realized that I missed music. I missed doing something that I'm damn good at, and I should never have stopped because someone else suggested that it would be frowned upon. In 2012, I will release new music.

I learned that some people feel like they can't take me seriously because most refer to me by my noms de guerre. Regardless of what I'm doing, whether business, music, or politics, I will always be Kamikaze, Kaz or Kaze to those that know me. If you wish to refer to me as Brad or Mr. Franklin, cool, but if you choose to dismiss me because of my "name," then you're only making yourself look silly.

As much as I tried to run from "Kamikaze" in 2010, I learned in '11 that he is just as much a part of me as anything. How can I betray what is a part of me? This year I learned to embrace who I am: a husband, a father, an artist, a businessman, Jacksonian and fighter! 

Happy 2012 to you all, JFP nation. Hope you take the lessons of 2011 and make them work for you in the new year.

And that's the truth ... sho-nuff.

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