home > Culture > games

Conflict: Denied Sequel


by Nick Judin
April 23, 2008

Platform 360 | PS3

In gaming, there's more than one way to make a failure. Commonly, the biggest failures are games that promise to deliver top-quality content and end up being bad, mediocre or, worse still, just OK. (See: Daikatana or Peter Molyneux's entire career.)

Of course, some excellent games fail by simply lacking the appeal to catch on or garner interest. These sleeper hits, like "Ico," "Earthbound" and "Breakdown" each provide a unique, memorable experience—that nobody ever gets.

Last, and most certainly least, are the games that look bad, sound bad and end up being, well, bad. "Conflict: Denied Ops" is this kind of failure.

The name alone should raise some red flags. The title is "Conflict," which is genius, because the game is, in fact, about conflict. Then you have "Denied Ops," which denotes something so secretive the people behind the "Ops" aren't even allowing it. Ironically, the game would be about a 1000 times better if it lived up to its own name, and right before the first level began, the brass shut down your entire operation. "Sorry," the game-over screen would say. "That's politics. Thanks for the $50."

If that experience seems exciting to you, buy this game. It's pretty much the same thing.

To be honest, I've probably lodged every criticism I'm about to make for some other first-person shooter, which should really show you what a terrible clusterf*ck of bad ideas this attempt at a game really is.

I don't know who out there decided the two-player FPS genre was an exciting prospect, but it's not. Seriously, you guys are 0 for 3. Give it up. The creators of the slightly less atrocious "Kane and Lynch" went so far as to remove a particularly nasty review from Gamespot and get its writer fired, which I would totally sympathize with if he wasn't clearly a dumbass. He wrote a scathing review around the same time the site was reskinned into a Kane and Lynch ad. That's about as smart as me slipping pro-Melton propaganda into my reviews near election day. Essentially you and a friend wander aimlessly through the poorly designed levels, accomplishing goals that rarely delve beyond "shoot this guy" or ,"make sure this guy doesn't get shot." Like its brethren, the game utilizes a revival system, so rather than dying when your health runs out, you're forced to lie down on the ground, critically injured. If a teammate can make it to you in time, they can press a button that injects you with adrenaline. This is science, as adrenaline has been clinically proven to heal any and all injuries.

Unlike their kin, the main characters of "Conflict" have the constitution of cyborg elephants, meaning no matter how many grenades were just jammed up your ass, you will always have about three minutes before you die for real, or if you're shot up with adrenaline a couple dozen times a minute, you'll be fine. Walk it off, soldier.

The creators decided to balance this out by giving you the max health of a paper towel. I'm all for realism in games, but when the average enemy can take twice as much punishment as my character can, there's a problem.

The gameplay sucks even worse than the graphics, which would have been groundbreaking in 2001. The game features "destructible environments," which is novel for about five minutes, but ultimately can't distract you from the gaping flaws everywhere else. The game doesn't have a plot, at least not a coherent one. Maybe I'd have had an easier time following it if the main characters weren't the most depressingly one-dimensional heroes to grace the pixelated screen in a long, long time.

Subject A is Lincoln Graves, a grizzled old sniper who, according to his Spec Ops profile is "a loving father and a committed patriot." In his free time, he enjoys singing the national anthem, baking apple pie and waterboarding illegal immigrants—at least, that's what I can infer. Subject B is Reggie Lang, who couldn't be more stereotypically black if his voice actor was Wanda Sykes. His government profile speaks of his loud, boisterous nature and skill at sports. He uses a machine gun and a rocket launcher, and if "Conflict" didn't completely suck he'd likely be the star of a spin-off series of Blaxploitation movies.

I haven't touched on the level design or any of the technical nuances of the game, and I won't. "Conflict" massively fails to appeal on such a basic level that I have no interest in reviewing it from a technical standpoint.

Perhaps I am biting the hand that feeds me. Eidos did send a review copy of "Conflict" to me for free. So, as a peace offering, I'd like to let the people at Eidos know that, in my opinion, "Hitman" is so ridiculously good it makes up for this and pretty much everything Secret Stash does.

I also remind them that I am ready and willing to give their games glowing reviews: They just need to make sure they're good.

 
posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/23/08 at 07:09 PM. [printer version]    Share |

COMMENTS

Nick, you should review more bad games. Your writing style is epic when you bring the snark!

posted by Tom Head on 06/28/08 at 11:21 PM

Page 1 of 1 pages

You are not logged in. To post a comment, you must be a registered user and logged in. Click here to register or click here to log in.

Log in to JFP using Facebook

:: recentcomments

Feb 10, 2012 | 02:12 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
DonnaLadd: Thanks, Maddow, for the credit and the link love for this post: on.msnbc.com/yflZ4j
Feb 09, 2012 | 09:50 PM
Biz Roundup: Welcoming New Businesses to Town
redlion: Interesting story. I actually patronized one of Scott's stores during a recent six week stay in the DC area. Still have a re-useable shopping bag from there. Had ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 04:55 PM
[Outlaw] A More Perfect Union
thabian: Loved this column not only for the very important subject matter, but because it contained a truly entertaining voice. I wanted to read more!!!!
Feb 09, 2012 | 04:35 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
DonnaLadd: Let's not forget when Rep. Holland tried to ban abortion back in 2006. Many of us weren't laughing about that stunt. Here's a 2010 report on him and a ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 04:15 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
Jason Meeks: brief mention of it in video :) by Colbert (via Twitter trending) http://tpmmuckraker. talkingpointsmemo.com/201 2/02/mississippi_rep_want ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 04:01 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
DonnaLadd: Oh, and I love it when Mississippi punks the nation.
Feb 09, 2012 | 03:57 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
DonnaLadd: I'm surprised anyone took it seriously. We heard about it earlier the week, and it seemed obvious before it was Holland. But we all deal with him. I'll ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 03:40 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
Lori G: I thought it was genius when I saw it. Of course, I knew the Colbert joke. I think that is the problem. In this state, there just aren't enough people that ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 03:20 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
DonnaLadd: I can totally see Holland on Colbert, both pretending to be conservatives! Ha!
Feb 09, 2012 | 03:16 PM
Fight the Power
rlnave: Attorney General Jim Hood was worried for nothing. Even though he was at the Supreme Court making arguments in the ongoing pardon case this morning, I'm hearing that Jackson Democratic Rep. ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 03:16 PM
Holland's Gulf of America Bill Sweeping the Nation
Lori G: This is an old Colbert joke! I wish someone would send this to Colbert. I swear, I think he'd cover it.
Feb 09, 2012 | 03:02 PM
[Editor's Note] Aloha, Jackson
DonnaLadd: By the way, I looked up an image of the patch our captain friend gave us. Apparently, he is with the 25th Infantry Division; read more here.
Feb 09, 2012 | 01:23 PM
Biz Roundup: Welcoming New Businesses to Town
DonnaLadd: Case in point from the Christian Science Monitor: Whole Foods Killing off Small Natural Food Stores: After years of delivering organic produce to health-food ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 01:19 PM
Biz Roundup: Welcoming New Businesses to Town
DonnaLadd: This is a mixed blessing. They sell cool stuff, but they could shut McDade's and Rainbow down if we're not all careful about where we spend all our food money. ...
Feb 09, 2012 | 01:08 PM
[Outlaw] A More Perfect Union
DonnaLadd: Amazing column.

100 recent comments »

 


click to view "flip" version of this week's print issue

 

Guests online: 228
Logged-in members: 0
Anonymous members: 1
Elapsed time: 0.5193
The most number of visitors ever was 1661 at once on 02/10/2012

 

© Jackson Free Press, Inc. - portions of code by CC with EE. User agreement and privacy statement.
phone: 601-362-6121 (ext 11 sales, ext 16 editorial, ext 17 publisher)
fax: 601-510-9019 * P.O. Box 5067 * Jackson, MS * 39296