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Below the Rind


Melissa Webster

by Jesse Yancy
July 23, 2008

People have known for centuries that watermelon is good for you, but as an added bonus, just this past month, researchers at Texas A&M University announced that a component in watermelons affects the body in ways similar to Viagra.

Aggie scientists say that watermelons contain an ingredient called citrulline that can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body’s blood vessels, similar to what happens when a man takes Viagra. When ingested, citrulline becomes arginine, an amino acid that benefits the circulatory and immune systems.

Apparently, though, the stimulating properties of watermelon aren’t really an entirely new discovery. In the first edition of “The Encyclopedia of Southern Culture,” Charles Wilson refers to an old blues song, “Watermelon Man,” which associated the melon with sexual potency. But watermelon is good for everybody; it’s chock full of vitamins A and C (and, what my friend likes to call “Vitamin P,” alluding to the fruit’s natural diuretic properties). It also works as an anti-inflammatory and a great source of antioxidants.

Finding a watermelon that’s good enough to eat is problematic, though. The criteria are a bit complicated. For instance, in this part of the world, people who buy watermelons (for consumption) in January should seriously reconsider their options in the fruit category. Melons available at this time of the year come from Central America, and it’s a sure bet that the ones that reach our neck of the woods have been picked over pretty well by the time they get here.

Now, if you’re going to buy a watermelon, you must wait until June when local crops arrive, and if, like my mother, you’re a real connoisseur, you won’t buy a melon until July and never after August. Her timetable for a good watermelon coincided with that of her stepfather’s, who raised yellow-meated melons on a hilltop in north Mississippi.

Sad to say, timing isn’t everything; shape and color are also factors. Most varieties of watermelon are either oblong or spheroid, and while spheroid melons grow equally rotund, avoid oblong melons with one end narrower than the other because the smaller end is bound to be greener than the larger one. Because melons ripen on the ground, one side of the fruit will always have a light spot or patch that yellows over time, so look for a ripe melon to have a yellowish bottom.

These guides do not apply to seedless melons, however. I wouldn’t begin to know how to go about selecting a seedless watermelon for the simple reason that I’d only buy one to carve, never to eat. Like many plants, the developing seeds of the watermelon exude an enzyme that promotes the ripening of the fruit, and any cultivar that suppresses seeds retards the development of the flesh as well. The only seedless watermelons I’ve ever eaten taste like big fat pink cucumbers, which might appeal to some people, but they’re not something I’d put on a picnic table.

So far our criteria for selecting a ripe watermelon involve time and symmetry. Be advised, however, that while green melons taste awful, almost astringent, over-ripe melons are just as bad. They’re the juke joint floozies of the vegetable kingdom. The mealy texture of their hearts alone will make you spit, and if you bite into that squishy zone below, you’re going to gag. They smell bad, too. When you’re selecting your melon, especially during the peak season, run your hands over the surface feeling for soft spots. The rind should be uniformly firm with just the merest hint of give. Any indication of mushiness tells you your melon is over the hill.

After that, you’re on your own, and I do mean on your own. You should never let anyone select a watermelon for you. I don’t care if they tell you they were born in a patch, the responsibility for choosing one should be your own. Even armed with the information I’m passing along, chances are, sooner or later, you’re going to take home a lemon, and when it comes to watermelons, there are no whipping boys, just a nagging echo of caveat emptor.

But be brave and take the plunge. Go out and get yourself a Jubilee; they’re great right now.

 
posted by on 07/23/08 at 06:08 PM. [printer-friendly version]   

COMMENTS

 

Finally, we watermelon lovers can be proud of liking watermelons. To top this off, we now find out, after all these years and so many bad jokes, that not only did watermelons keep poor black and other folks alive, it also helped poor folks bring others into life. As Tom, Cybil and J. Anthony joked a while back, If you come into the house or bedroom and see a watermelon laying around then you know what time it is."

As it understand the facts, this research was done by Texas A&M;, ITodd's alma mater, and having lived in Houston for 12 years, I've heard all the jokes about Texas A&M;, as well. Surely, you know what I'm talking about ITodd. Yet I know this is sound research. I have 16 brothers and sisters to prove it.

posted by Walt on 07/25/08 at 12:24 PM

c'mon, what about knocking on the side of it and putting your ear next to it for that telltale resounding THUMP? That's how my momma told me to pick 'em. No thump and they aren't ripe. Too big of a thump - kinda hollow sounding - and they are overripe.

This article was very funny. melons in the bedroom, whoo wee

posted by Izzy on 07/25/08 at 12:39 PM

Hi Laurel. I listened to your songs recently put on the JFP regarding the chick ball. I like them. Too bad you and the other ladies aren't enjoying commercial successes for your talent. It could happen some day. I imagine you can tell I'm a big music fan by all the songs I've posted on here over the years.

I always do the thumping test and thought I had perfected a sure fire way of picking a good one. Then I had a string of bad one and the wife now thinks I don't know jack about picking good watermelons. Now I just let the seller (willing liars)lie to me about which ones are good.

posted by Walt on 07/25/08 at 12:47 PM

Oh yeah, we ate the rind, too. Again we wuz very po'. We ate the meat of the watermelon for dinner and the rind for breakfast.

posted by Walt on 07/25/08 at 12:49 PM

hey Walt - thanks very much! I understand now that commercial success isn't the arbiter of good music. Esp. now that you must not only be talented and determined, but also beautiful and skinny to get much of anywhere in the music industry. It's ok by me, my love for music isn't something that will change - no matter what. As for melons, sometimes at the grocery I say a quick prayer and ask any unseen guides to let me know when I touch the ripest pineapple or watermelon. Then I touch them and wait til it "feels right" how's that for a weird habit. No weirder than eating watermelon rinds. I get pretty good fruit that way, that and the thumping. ;-)

posted by Izzy on 07/25/08 at 01:06 PM

CNN is reporting the south is the most obese area of the country. I don't like this report, but I do understand why. Just last night I wanted to visit my neighbor who lives about 50 feet away. I just didn't feel like walking so drove over there. I figured it wouldn't take that much gas so why walk.

More watermelon and fruits could help the situation.

posted by Walt on 07/25/08 at 02:19 PM

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