All Time Favorite Melton Moment

This should probably be in the Melton blog, but I couldn't help it.

The wonderful thing about kids is that they just want to have some fun and be happy. Give them the desires of their hearts and they will be happy. They're also goo goo eyed toward celebrities or people of alleged high status.

One of the thing Frank obviously likes about kids and young folks is that most can not see how full of #### he is. Thinking or cerbral people can identify or sumise bullcrap long before it reaches their doorsteps. These same people will recoil bullcrap. Believe it ot not, even bullcrap wants to be loved. Who can better love bullcrap that has a big house, deep pockets, a good job, and a generous heart without condemnation? Try children, cheerleaders, brown-nosers and the ignorant.

Bullcrap also knows that children don't know much about arrogance or condescension. But they do know about "I love you."

Melton is simply saying, "can a lying and full of #### pimp or ganster get some love from somebody?"

Ladies and gentlemen, Melton got the greenlight on FARK.com!!!! Props to whoever did it. I've sent in several Melton headlines! It is about the buses.

Here is the user submitted headline for this story:

"(Jackson Clarion-Ledger) Mayor to police: Tell those school buses to pull over, I need a hug. Or maybe four busloads of hugs"

The first poster on their board wrote: "I would have punched the mayor in the balls. I'm not his damn hug monkey."

Thanks to Drew and gang! And you too Ali! We may all need a "hug monkey" after this!

I totally need a hug monkey! That's the best thing ever.

Someone come be my hug monkey!! That way whenever I get depressed, lonely, and a little freaked out, I won't have to touch De Children. I can just touch the hug monkey.

Problem Solved.

Ray and Tom, you guys are first in line for the "hug monkey" position.

I need applications, references from previous people you have hugged, and possibly a used school bus.

Someone get right on top of that....

Ali, for your 1st hug, read these lyrics By Sounds of Blacknes:

Yesterday a man said to me
How can you smile
when your world is crumbling down
I said
Here's my secret
When I wanna cry
I take a look around
And I see that I'm getting by
And then (I say)
Hold on
A change is coming
Don't worry (don't worry about a thing)
You can make it
Everything will be alright.

If the trouble's of life
Weigh you down
Then lift your head up
When the love you seek
Is hard to find
Don't give up
Just be strong
Keep the faith.

That's called a media event. We study them in J-school.

Second hug for Ali by Bobby McFerrin:

Here'a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry - Be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when we worry we make it double
Don't worry - Be happy
Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry - Be happy
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry - Be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Aint got no body to make you smile
Don't worry - Be happy
Cause when you worry your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
Don't worry - Be happy

I wondered why my attorney e-mailed me this a.m. (I look at e-mail before the Web) and said:

I want to lodge a complaint (subject line)

Because neither of you has ever pulled over my car and gotten a hug from me.

Obviously, if you cared more, you would.

I thought he was crazy for a moment.

;-D

I thought he was crazy for a moment.

---Naw, he should just run for public office. ;)

I'm sorry. But this truly is the best thing he's done.

I'm totally ripping people from their cars at intersections today and forcibly hugging them.

Let's form a roving band of huggers. We can get matching heart tattoos and wear our caps backward.

Who else just had a total "Entourage" moment where you heard someone scream

"Let's hug it out, b1tch!" ?

I cannot stop laughing at this.

Mayor ganster/pimp needs some adoration, liking, worship, accord, affection, amity, courtship, delight, fondness, friendship, kindness, tenderness, warmth, amour, ardour, attachment, passion, devotion, inclination, benevolence, charity, and good Will.

And he could use a semon on the value of love verses bullsh!t. I saw a good sermon about this in the movie called "Jason's Lyric." A street preacher (aka tattered junkie) preached it. All I remember now is that he said "stay away from sh!t. It will get on you, and you can't flick it off. It will make you funky. It will smell up the place. People will run from you."

I'm going to watch the movie again for the sole purpose of remembering those lines.

What Melton did and said about the hug sounds kinda mildly perverted to more or less strange, anybody see the news about the Bus Driver harassing the little girl for a Hug when she gets off the bus daily, and they City told the News Station that the Bus Driver would be assigned to another route WTF.....A Elementary Student! Back to Frank, this is just not the climate where grown men should be pulling over School Buses full of kids for hugs especially not a Mayor nor anyone else.....how long will the true supporters be able to condone this?

I don't think there's anything perverted about the mayor hugging school children, though at the risk of contradicting myself, it does make me a bit tongue-in-cheek nostalgic for the good old days, when a mayor who needed a hug went to a prostitute. Somehow, that seems more straightforward. Joking aside, it's clear that Melton has a genuine love for children, and it does say something that he sought them out for comfort. He sounds a bit worn down.

By the way, Ray Carter, take it easy with the Bobby McFerrin or I'm going to have to pull over a bus myself. Nothing makes a man in need of a hug crazier than being told to just be happy. Yes, I admit it, I need a hug. Does anyone know a woman with very many tattoos? Somehow, I think that will work best for me. ;)

I'm finally speechless, Brian.

Ray Carter-- And he could use a semon on the value of love verses bullsh!t.

...uhh...

Freudian slip?

I meant sermon!!!!!!! I don't know what the other word means. Y'all know I'm slow and can't spell.

HEEL, Brian.

Ray, stop writing smut. THE CHILDREN might see it! ;)

To quote comedian George Wallace, "I be thinking." Since I do "be thinking", do any of you think Melton could get any love from a whore house or wonderful home of prostitution? Would any of those hard working and essential citizens trust him to not immediately arrest them 3 minutes later? We saw what he did to the strip clubs.

Since the stripping of the strip clubs in Jackson, I have heard numerous stories of old men walking out into the streets in front of cars, and refusing to get out of bed some days. One old man reportedly said he wasn't planning on opening his eyes again until Centerfolds was back in business.

Brian started this. I'm not going to say anything else though. I'm scared of this subject.

Brian started this.

---Oh, my fault. I completely neglected to think about the fact that you guys might actually BE the children here. ;)

Okay,someone has to come look at this. I obviously have a lack of things to do today.

I've added a PICTURE to this entry.

Sighhhhh......I support the Mayor. I think? I just don't know what he is trying to accomplish.

And I won't be able to condone pulling over the buses for a hug and wasn't the CNBC news crew there too...seems Melton has a genuine love for Cameras and Publicity.

Ali writes:
Someone come be my hug monkey!! That way whenever I get depressed, lonely, and a little freaked out, I won't have to touch De Children. I can just touch the hug monkey.

Problem Solved.

Ray and Tom, you guys are first in line for the "hug monkey" position.

Cool beans! I'll send my resume right over. If Ray gets the gig, can I be deputy hug monkey? :P

Re Melton and the kids: You know, I fully buy into everything Leo Buscaglia ever said about the healing power of human touch, and I'm pretty much the living equivalent of that huggy guy in the Dave Matthews Band Video, but when you're pulling over a school bus full of other people's kids on I-220... Lord. Is he going to start bleaching his hair, grabbing his crotch, and moonwalking now? This was so tailor-made for Fark.net.


Cheers,

TH

anybody see the news about the Bus Driver harassing the little girl for a Hug when she gets off the bus daily, and they City told the News Station that the Bus Driver would be assigned to another route WTF.....A Elementary Student! Back to Frank, this is just not the climate where grown men should be pulling over School Buses full of kids for hugs especially not a Mayor nor anyone else.....how long will the true supporters be able to condone this?

I did and I thought the same thing...they said they would reassign the driver as a "courtesy" to the parents. hah! how about putting the driver on probation for inappropriately touching and harrassing a student?

I saw it. I hope Frank saw it too, and realizes the error of judgment.

Here's the Marshall Ramsey cartoon from today's Clarion-Ledger.

New bumper stickers proliferating all over the City of Jackson on Mobile Command "Party" Van, yellow school buses, City of Jackson fleet vehicles, JPD cruisers, JFD fire trucks, and on the cars (all with flat tires) of blindly loyal Melonheads:

***Children, Have You Hugged Your Mayor Today?***

HA!

Someone on the CL forum lifted the picture of the T-shirt and posted it.

Man, can people get their OWN fabulous sense of humor, or must they always depend on me? ;)

What's amazing is the copyright violation of doing it without saying where it comes from. Ahem, Ledge. Paying attention?

And they're linking to it off our site. Ali, we should change the URL on it.

If I knew how to do that, I would. ;)

They should have at least given us a shout out.

I think you can just change the name of the file and re-upload it to your blog.

That'll show 'em.

I think a better idea would be to replace the original file with something they would be less proud to link to. Use your imagination!


Cheers,

TH

(And then, of course, you can change the URL in the blog entry to refer to the more savory shirt image. :P)

I would love to, but that file is on my work computer. :)

I am very upset. I tried to make another t-shirt that said "I stole this from the JFP. ALI GREGGS RULES!" and rename it the same as the other file so it would pop up on the CL site.

Somehow this did not work out as planned. So, I changed file name and reposted.

Ali, your wish is my command... At least if they're going to hijack bandwidth and stolen images, it should be an advertisement. ;-)

*Sigh*

I love you, Knol.

(Ali will now rub the Buddha head for a full thirty minutes)

I have been lost the last several posts. Y'all are too deep for me. Are y'all using codes to purposely fly over my head.

"I can't help it if I growed up po' and slo'." Ali ain't never told me she loves me. Can slo' folks get some love too.

"I got money in my pockets but I still can't get no love." Frank Melton. And now I dare say Ray Carter, too.

HA!

Ray, some guy took the picture from this post and used JFP bandwidth to post it to the CL forums. So, this means we technically still have control over the content of the file.

Knol just replaced the "content" (which is the hug monkey t-shirt) with a very large sign saying "I LOVE THE JFP". Its beautiful.

If you hit the link a few posts above where I posted the original comment you should be able to see the new picture.

Better?

And, last but not least, I LOVE YOU TOO, RAY!

Click here for a giggle.

Here. Its still up!!

Damn, Ladd, you gots a quick trigger finger...;)

Now I understand, ladies. Thanks a million.

Let's hope the mayor is now about ready to be just our mayor. It's quite obvious he needed to get beat up before foregoing all his crazy ideas about crime fighting.

I'm going to go out on a limb and predict the mayor will do better in the future. And I aver he's quiet now because he's listening and contemplating how he got in this mess and moreover how he will overcome it.

We shall see.